Nurse

Mistress! Hello, mistress! I bet she’s fast asleep. Juliet! Hello my lamb! My lady! Darn it, you sleepyhead! Love! Madam! Sweetheart! Why don’t you answer, bride! Not even one word? Well get your rest now, sleep for a week. I bet you that the next night you won’t get much sleep with Count Paris. God forgive me, she’s sound asleep! I have to wake her up. Madam, madam, madam! Oh, let the count take you in your bed, I’m sure he’ll wake you up. Will you not wake up?

[Undraws the curtains] What, you got dressed and all your clothes are ready and you fell back to sleep again! I’ve got to wake you up. Lady! Lady! Lady! Oh no! Help, help! My lady’s dead! Oh curse the day that I was born! Someone get me a strong drink! My Lord! My Lady!

Lady Capulet

What’s all this noise?

Nurse

Oh what a terrible day!

Lady Capulet

What’s the matter?

Nurse

Look, look! Oh horrible day!

Lady Capulet

Oh me, oh no! My child, my only child! Please revive, look up, or I’ll die with you! Help, help! Call for help.

Capulet

For shame, will you bring Juliet already? Her groom is here.

Nurse

She’s dead, deceased, she’s dead. Curse the day!

Lady Capulet

Alas for this day, she’s dead, she’s dead, she’s dead!

Capulet

What? Let me see her. Oh, alas! She’s cold, her blood has settled, and her joints are stiff. I can tell from her face she’s been dead for hours. This death is like an unexpected frost on the sweetest flower in all of the field.

Nurse

Oh what a terrible day!

Lady Capulet

Oh what a tragic time!    

Capulet

This death, that’s taken her away to make me weep in grief, has stopped me from speaking.

Friar Laurence

Come now, is the bride ready to go to church?

Capulet

Ready to go to the church, but she will never return. Oh my son! The night before your wedding day Death has slept in your wife’s bed. There she lies, a beautiful flower deflowered by death. It is only death that I can have for a son-in-law, death will be my heir. It’s as though my daughter is married to death, and now when I die only death will inherit everything I have. All I have belongs to Death.

Paris

Oh, I’ve anticipated seeing this morning for so long, how can it show me such an awful sight?

Lady Capulet

Accursed, sorrowful, wretched, hateful day! This is the most miserable hour time himself has ever seen in his eternal journey! I had only one, poor one! One poor, loving child, only one thing to rejoice in and find solace in, and cruel death has taken her from my sight!

Nurse

Oh woe! Oh terrible, terrible, terrible day! This is the saddest, most terrible day that I’ve ever seen! Oh day! What a day, what a day! What a hateful day! There was never another day as dark as this one! Oh woeful day, oh woeful day!

Paris

I’ve been deceived, divorced against my wish, hurt, insulted, and nearly killed by this death! Death, you detestable cruel thing, I’ve been tricked by you, almost completely defeated! Oh my love! Oh my life! Not life, my love is dead!

Capulet

I’ve been spited, distressed, nearly martyred and killed by this death! Terrible time, why did you have to come now and ruin this solemn ceremony? Oh child, oh child! You were my soul, more than my child! You’re dead! Alas! My child is dead, and with her all my happiness is buried.

Friar Laurence

Quiet, everyone, for shame! The best course of action in this devastation won’t be found in this kind of uproar. You shared this lovely girl with Heaven, and now Heaven has her entirely, which is all the better for the girl. You could not keep Juliet’s body from death, but Heaven will keep her soul alive forever. You always sought to give her a better life, for your own heaven was the idea of her moving up in life. Are you going to weep now that she has moved up all the way to the clouds in Heaven? Showing the kind of love you are, it seems like you love your child poorly, going mad when she is in the best state possible.

It’s best not to be married for too long, so it’s better to be married and die young. Dry your tears, and give some rosemary to this lovely corpse. Dress her in her finest clothes and carry her to the church according to custom. It’s in our nature to mourn, but our reason laughs at us for our excessive lamenting.

Capulet

All the festive things we prepared must now be repurposed for a solemn funeral. The wedding band must now sound like a funeral bell, the food is converted into a burial feast, and the wedding marches must be changed to heavy dirges. Juliet’s wedding bouquet will lie with her buried corpse, and everything seems to be turned into the opposite of what it was for.

Friar Laurence

Sir, you should go inside, and madam, you go with him. And you too, Sir Paris. Let everyone prepare to bury this lovely young lady. The heavens have frowned upon you for some kind of sin. Take care that you don’t bring down more misfortune by disobeying God’s will.

First Musician

Look, I think we can pack up our instruments and go home.

Nurse

Honest fellow, yes, put them away, put them away. For as you well now we’re in a pitiful case.

First Musician

She’s right, you know, this case should really be fixed.

Peter

Musicians! Oh, musicians, “Heart’s Ease”, play “Heart’s Ease”. Oh, for my life, play “Heart’s Ease”.

First Musician

Why “Heart's Ease?”

Peter

Oh, musicians, play it because my own heart is singing about how it’s full of woe.  Oh please play some happy song to comfort me.

First Musician

There’s no time to play now.

Peter

You won’t do it, then?

First Musician

No.

Peter

Well then I’m going to give to you good.

First Musician

What are you giving us?

Peter

Not money, but a joke on you. I’ll give you the title of minstrel.

First Musician

Then I’ll give you the title of serving-creature.

Peter

If you do you may find this serving-creature’s dagger on your head. I will make you sing, re, fa la, all that, you hear me? You got that?

First Musician

If you you’re going to carry on saying re, fa, I suppose you have “noted” us, so to speak.

Second Musician

Please, lower your dagger, and calm down this wit you have that makes you want to argue.

Peter

Oh you don’t like my wittiness, do you? I’ll beat your over the head with my wit, even if I lower my dagger. Answer a question for me:

Peter

“Then grief wounds the heart

And the mind is down in the dumps

The music with a silver sound”

Why do they call it a silver sound? Why should music have a silver sound? What do you say, Simon Catling?

Musician

Well, sir, because silver sounds sweet.

Peter

Very clever! What do you say, Hugh Rebeck?

Second Musician

I think it’s “silver sound” because musicians play for silver coins.

Peter

Also clever! What do you say, James Soundpost?

Third Musician

Honestly, I don’t know what to say.

Peter

Oh, I beg your pardon, you’re the singer. I’ll come up with something for you. It’s “music with her silver sound” because musicians couldn’t make a sound rubbing two gold coins together!

“Then music with her silver sound

Helps fix things with quick help”

First Musician

What an annoying guy he is!

Second Musician

Forget about him, Jack! Come on, let’s go inside, wait for the mourners, and stay for dinner.