Sampson

Mark my words, Gregory, we won’t carry coals. We won’t tolerate their insults.

Gregory

Of course not, if we spent our time carrying coal, we’d be dirty coal carriers, wouldn’t we!

Sampson

What I mean is, if we are angry, we’ll draw our swords.

Gregory

Well, if you want to stay alive, rather than draw your sword, you’d better draw your neck out of the noose.

Sampson

I strike quickly, if I’m provoked.

Gregory

But it takes a while to provoke you.

Sampson

If it’s the Montagues, even the family dog could move me to action.

Gregory

Well everyone who runs from a fight also “moves to action” and being brave means standing firm. So if you say you’re moved, I guess you’re running away.

Sampson

I mean that dog moves me to stand and fight. If I encounter any Montague on the sidewalk, man or woman, I’ll take the good side of the sidewalk — next to the building — and force them into the street.

Gregory

You know the old saying, “The weak keeps his back to the wall.” So if you always keep to the wall, you must be a weakling.

Sampson

Well, women are the “weaker vessels,” so it’ll be the Montague women with their backs to the wall. So I’ll push away Montague men from the wall and thrust the young girls into it.

Gregory

The quarrel is between us men, not the women.

Sampson

It’s all the same. I’ll show them how tough I am. After I’ve fought with the men, I’ll be nice to the young women. I’ll cut off their heads.

Gregory

You’ll cut off the heads of the maidens?

Sampson

Yeah, the heads of the maidens. I’ll take away their “maidenheads.” Take that in whatever sense you want.

Gregory

The women will be the ones to “take it” in a sense that can be felt.

Sampson

Oh they’ll feel me as long as I’m standing upright, and everyone knows I’m a handsome specimen.

Gregory

You’re lucky you’re flesh, because if you were fish, you’d be a Poor John — one of those cheap dried-up ones they sell at the market. While we’re on the subject, draw that tool of yours. Here come two Montagues.

Sampson

I’ve got my sword here, unsheathed. Pick a fight with them; I’ll back you up.        

Gregory

Back me up how? Turn your back on me and run?

Sampson

Have no fear of that.

Gregory

Oh no, I do have fear, such fear!

Sampson

Let’s keep the law on our sides. Let them start the fight.

Gregory

I’ll make a face at them when I walk by, and they can take it as they like.

Sampson

No, as they dare. I’ll give them the finger. They’ll be humiliated if they put up with that.

Abraham

Are you giving us the finger, mister?

Sampson

I am giving a finger, sir.

Abraham

Are you giving the finger to us, sir?

Sampson

[Aside to Gregory] Is the law on our side if I say “yes?”

Gregory

No.

Sampson

No, sir. I am not giving you the finger, sir. But I am giving the finger, sir.

Gregory

Are you picking a fight, sir?

Abraham

Fight sir! No, sir.

Sampson

If you are, sir, I’m ready for you. The nobleman I serve is just as good as the nobleman you serve.

Abraham

“As good”? Not better?

Sampson

Uh... well, sir.

Gregory

[Aside to Sampson] Say 'better than your nobleman.'

[Aloud] Here comes one of my master’s family.

Sampson

Yes, better than your nobleman, sir.

Abraham

You lie.

Sampson

Draw your swords if you’re real men. Gregory, remember that slashing move you learned.

Benvolio

Break it up, you idiots! Put away your swords. You don’t know what you’re doing.

Tybalt

Benvolio, are you actually fighting with these cowardly servants? Turn around and look at me, your worst nightmare.

Benvolio

I’m just trying to keep the peace. Put away your sword, or else use it to help me separate these men.

Tybalt

What, you’ve drawn your sword, and you’re talking about peace! I hate that word like I hate hell, all Montagues, and you. Fight me, coward!

Officer

Get your weapons to help stop this fight! Strike them, beat them down!  Damn these Capulets!  Damn these Montagues!

Lord Capulet

What’s all this racket? Hey, give me my battle sword!

Lady Capulet

Go get your crutches. What do you need a sword for? Are you seriously trying to fight?

Lord Capulet

My sword, I say! Old Montague is here, and he’s waving his sword around in defiance of me.     

Montague

You villain Capulet. [To his wife] Quit holding me. Let me go.

Lady Montague

You’re not moving a single inch to get into a fight.

Prince

My rebellious subjects, who are disturbing the peace and dishonoring your swords by using them against your neighbors — aren’t you listening to me?  You men, you beasts, trying to drown your rage in each other’s blood! I order you on pain of torture to drop these weapons from your bloody hands, and listen to the law. This makes three times now that your mere words, Lord Capulet and Lord Montague, have grown into public brawls and disturbed our quiet streets. You are causing our respected elders to change out of their dignified clothes and into battle attire and take up their old rusted weapons to break up your poisonous fights.

If you ever disturb our streets again, you shall pay for that breach of peace with your lives. That’s it for now. All the rest of you depart. Capulet, you come with me, and Montague, you come this afternoon.  We’ll go to the old Freetown castle, where I deliver judgments, to discuss this matter further. Again, all you Capulets and Montagues leave, or I’ll have you put to death.  

Montague

Who reopened this old quarrel? Nephew, were you nearby when it began?

Benvolio

Our servants were already fighting with theirs before I arrived at the scene. I drew my sword to separate them. Right then, that hothead Tybalt came up with his sword drawn, swinging it around and making threats. While we were thrusting at each other, more and more people came and joined in the fight until the Prince showed up and separated everyone.

Lady Montague

Oh, where is Romeo? Have you seen him today? I’m really glad he wasn’t involved in this scuffle.

Benvolio

Madam, just before sunrise I couldn’t sleep and went for a walk in the grove of sycamore trees west of the city, and I saw your son walking there. I headed toward him, but when he saw me, he ducked into the woods. I figured that his mood was the same as mine, that he wanted to be totally alone. After all, I felt just being with myself was one too much company.  So I followed my inclination, which was not to follow him.

Montague

He’s been seen there many mornings, crying tears that add the morning dew and sighing breath that adds to the clouds. But as soon as the cheerful sun shows the first light in the east and pulls the curtains back on the day, my gloomy son rushes home and locks himself in his room. He closes the blinds over the windows to shut out the daylight, creating an artificial night. I’ve got a bad feeling about his gloomy mood. It seems like it will go on forever, unless someone can fix the cause by talking to him.

Benvolio

My noble uncle, do you know the cause?

Montague

No, I don’t, nor have I learned anything from him.

Benvolio

Have you tried to get him to open up?

Montague

Yes, I’ve tried, as well as many of his friends. But he only shares his thoughts with himself — as if he is his own counselor, and not a very good one. Because he keeps his thoughts to himself, I can’t pry to discover what’s bothering him. It’s as if he’s a flower infected with a worm before it can bloom and show itself to the sun.

If only I knew why he was so depressed, I’d happily help him.

Benvolio

Look, here he comes. Please, let me be alone with him. I’ll do everything I can to figure out the problem.

Montague

I hope your persistence succeeds in getting him to open up to you. Come, madam, let’s leave them alone.

Benvolio

Good morning, cousin.

Romeo

Is it still that early?

Benvolio

Just after nine.

Romeo

Oh dear. Time passes slowly when you’re sad. Was that my father who just hurried off?

Benvolio

Yeah, it was. What’s making you so sad that it makes the hours seem long?

Romeo

Not having the thing that would make them seem short.

Benvolio

You're in love?

Romeo

Out.

Benvolio

Out of love?

Romeo

Out of favor with the woman I’m in love with.

Benvolio

It’s unfortunate how love can look so nice but be cruel and rough when you actually experience it.

Romeo

It’s unfortunate that although “love is blind,” he seems to find a way to do what he wants perfectly well without eyes. Hey, where should we go to eat? [Seeing signs of the fighting] Oh, man! What fight happened here?

Wait, don’t tell me. I’ve heard it all before. These people are full of hate, while I’m full of love. Isn’t life full of contradictions? Brawling love, loving hate, something from nothing, heavy lightness, serious silliness, chaos from organization, feathers of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health, sleep that isn’t restful. I have love, but I have none for this feud. Isn’t this laughable?

Benvolio

No, coz, it makes me cry.

Romeo

Oh, at what?

Benvolio

At how bad you feel.

Romeo

Why, that’s the nature of love. I feel bad enough under the weight of my own grief without feeling responsible for yours, too. This love you’re showing toward me is just making me feel worse. Love is like smoke made of sighs. When it clears you can see the fire in a lover’s eyes. When it stirs up, then tears of love flow like the sea. What else is love? They say love is madness — a kind of sensible madness. Love is a bitter poison, while at the same time a life-sustaining food. Goodbye, cousin.

Benvolio

Wait! I’ll go with you. You can’t just leave me like that.

Romeo

Ha, I’ve already gone. This isn’t the real me. I don’t feel like Romeo--he’s somewhere else.

Benvolio

Be sad, tell me who it is that you love.

Romeo

Be sad! What, should I be sad and groan when I tell you?

Benvolio

Groan? No. I’m asking you to tell me sadly — in all seriousness — who it is.

Romeo

Look, you can ask a sick man to make out his will, in sadness — in all seriousness — because it’s important. But that’s a poor choice of words to use with me because my problem is sadness. Cousin, I’m telling you in sadness, in both its senses, that I love a woman.

Benvolio

So I was right on target when I guessed you were in love.

Romeo

You’re a good marksman, and the woman I love is fair and beautiful.

Benvolio

As the saying goes, “A fair mark — or a visible target — is easiest hit.”

Romeo

You may have hit the mark on what’s bothering me, but I’m not “hitting the mark” with her. She avoids Cupid’s arrows. Like the goddess Diana, she’s vowed to remain a virgin and is well-armed to defend her chastity. She’s unharmed by Cupid’s weak childish bow and arrows. She does not give in when I besiege her with romantic expressions, nor does she respond to my affectionate gazes. She won’t have sex, not even for enough money to seduce a saint. On the one hand, right now she's rich in beauty, but she’ll be poor in the future when those good genes die with her because she hasn’t produced any offspring.

Benvolio

So she has sworn a vow of chastity before God?

Romeo

She has. But in saving her virginity she’s wasting her beauty by not passing it along to future generations. She is too beautiful and intelligent to earn her spiritual salvation by pledging herself to such an austere life and making me despair. She has sworn to never make love, and that has made my life not worth living.

Benvolio

Follow my advice and stop thinking of her.

Romeo

Teach me how to forget her.

Benvolio

By letting yourself check out other beautiful women.

Romeo

That will just cause to me compare her exquisite beauty to theirs. It’s like seeing a mask on a pretty girl’s face (lucky mask, that it gets to touch that face!). I just think about the beautiful skin hidden underneath. A blind man won’t forget the beautiful sights he once saw. Show me an extremely beautiful woman, and she will just remind me of my beloved who is even more beautiful. Farewell, you cannot teach me to forget her.

Benvolio

I’ll teach you to forget, my dear friend — that’s a promise.