RALPH: So Romeo, you're a married man. Congratulations. 

ROMEO: Thanks, thanks a lot, Ralph. That means a lot to me. 

RALPH: You must be feeling pretty good right now. 

ROMEO: Oh, what can I say? I'm walking on air. 

RALPH: So it's right after the wedding ceremony. And you're walking through the streets of Verona when you come upon a meeting of two packs of men, you might say. And you see Mercutio and Tybalt talking face to face. 

ROMEO: Really? 

RALPH: Yes, and it doesn't take long for Tybalt to turn to you and call you a villain. I guess that's something of an insult. 

ROMEO: No matter, it doesn't mean anything. I have reason to love him now. 

RALPH: Now that you're related to him through your marriage to Juliet? 

ROMEO: That's right. And so my newfound love for him overcomes any anger I might feel at being called a villain. He doesn't know who he's talking to. I'll just walk past. 

RALPH: Well, not quite so fast. Tybalt says that you've done him wrong, and he challenges you to a duel on the spot. 

ROMEO: How have I hurt him? I love him more than he knows. And soon, he'll know why. 

RALPH: Once he learns about the wedding? 

ROMEO: I love the name Capulet as much as I love my own name. Let me tell him that. If I could just—

RALPH: I'm sorry. Things just aren't going to go your way. Mercutio can't understand your strange behavior. And he decides to accept the challenge himself. 

ROMEO: Oh—no no no no no—I can't let that happen, Ralph. 

RALPH: Well, Tybalt draws his sword and so does Mercutio. 

ROMEO: Oh, come on, no. He can't do that. He needs to put his sword away. 

RALPH: I'm afraid they start going at it pretty quickly. 

ROMEO: They can't do this, Ralph. I need to stop them. 

RALPH: You are trying, believe me. But they just won't listen to you. You even get between them to try to break it up. 

ROMEO: And? 

RALPH: Well, you're not going to like this part. Tybalt reaches his sword under your arm and stabs Mercutio, and then he runs off. 

ROMEO: He stabs him? Is he hurt? 

RALPH: Yeah, he says it's just a scratch. But it's enough of a scratch. 

ROMEO: I bet it's not too bad. Mercutio's invincible. 

RALPH: "Not as deep as a well," he says, "nor as wide as a church door." But it's bad enough. He thinks he's going to die. 

ROMEO: Oh, jeez, I was just trying to help. 

RALPH: He curses both your houses, the Montagues and the Capulets. Then Benvolio leads him off to find some help. 

ROMEO: Oh, my god. Mercutio, my friend, mortally stabbed for my sake? Tybalt slandering me in public, who's been my cousin for the past hour? Oh, Juliet, has your beauty made me soft? 

RALPH: Romeo, Benvolio returns to tell you that Mercutio is dead. 

ROMEO: Dead? Already? 

RALPH: Yes. And you say, "This day's black fate on more days doth depend. This but begins the woe others must end." What does that mean? 

ROMEO: Oh, this is bad, Ralph. I get the feeling this is just the start of worse things to come. 

RALPH: Well, as soon as you say that, Tybalt reappears. 

ROMEO: Seriously? Tybalt alive and Mercutio slain? So much for trying to get along with my new in-laws. I've got to fight them, Ralph. Mercutio's soul floats above us, and one of us is going to go with him. 

RALPH: Well, Tybalt is happy to oblige. You fall to fighting. And soon enough, you've killed him. 

ROMEO: He's dead? 

RALPH: Yes, and Benvolio is quick to point out that the prince has promised a death sentence for anyone caught fighting in the streets. He thinks your only hope is to run and to not get caught. 

ROMEO: Man, oh, man. A fortunes fool, Ralph, fortune's fool. 

RALPH: It does seem to be some very bad luck. Sorry about that. 

ROMEO: It's not your fault.