SARAH: Juliet, your nurse was supposed to be here too, but we best get started. 

JULIET: I know. I sent her to find Romeo to find out when we are to be married. She said it would take 30 minutes, but that was like three hours ago. 

SARAH: Yes, that is troubling. 

JULIET: Maybe she can't find him. Maybe she got hurt. 

SARAH: Let's not speculate too much. I'm sure she's fine. 

JULIET: Love's messenger should be like thoughts, you know. Thoughts travel 10 times faster than light from the sun. 

SARAH: Actually, it turns out the speed of light is the fastest—

JULIET: If she had some emotions of her own—some warm, youthful blood—she would be like a tennis ball that I could hit to Romeo and he would hit back to me, just like that. 

SARAH: Tennis—you guys have tennis? 

JULIET: Oh, yes. The French think that they invented it. But really, it was Henry VIII who invented the real game of tennis. Anyway, my nurse is like a lot of you old people. It's as if you were dead—unwieldy, slow, heavy, pale as lead. 

SARAH: I'm sorry—you old people? 

NURSE: Sorry. 

JULIET: Oh. 

NURSE: Sorry. 

JULIET: You're here. What happened? What happened? Did you meet him? You look sad. Oh, if it's bad news, you should try to look happy when you tell me. If it's good news, you shouldn't have such a sour look on your face. 

NURSE: I am exhausted. I just need a second. Sorry. Ah, ow, my bones hurt. 

JULIET: Well, how about I trade you my bones for your news? Sarah—

NURSE: I just, just—what's the hurry? I need to catch my breath first. 

JULIET: How are you out of breath when you have the breath to tell me that you're out of breath? 

SARAH: She has a point there. 

JULIET: Is your news good or bad? Just tell me that. 

NURSE: Well, you don't know how to choose a man. Romeo, no, not a good choice. Well, he's pretty cute, actually—and some legs, woo, wow. But for the rest of him—actually, it's all pretty good. He is not polite, by the way. Eh, but he's pretty sweet. You know, I think you found a good one here. Hey, have you guys had lunch? 

JULIET: What? No! I knew all of that already. 

NURSE: Oh my god. 

JULIET: What does he say about our marriage? That's what I'm asking about. 

NURSE: Oh, what a headache—oh my god, it feels like it's going to explode, you know? Have you ever had that before—like a little animal like, you know, it's like—Oh god, oh, my back—oh my god, my back. Oh. 

SARAH: Yes, indeed. I think what Juliet just asked—

JULIET: It's okay. I've got this. Okay, okay. 

NURSE: Yeah, okay, now the other side, other side—oh, oh god. Shame on you for making me run all over the place. Do you want me to get sick and keel over? 

JULIET: I'm sorry that you're not feeling well. Sweet, sweet, sweet nurse—what does my love say? 

NURSE: Well, your love says—like an honest and a courteous and a kind and handsome and virtuous I suppose gentleman—hey, where's your mother? 

JULIET: Oh my god, really? Where is my mother? 

NURSE: Really, what's the big deal? Just relax for a second. Only my god, do you think this is gonna make me feel any better? You know, do your messages yourself from now on—you know, running all over Verona. The Piazza delle Erbe is nutso on market days. 

JULIET: What did he say? 

NURSE: Can you go to confession today? 

JULIET: Yes. 

NURSE: Then go to Friar Lawrence's cell. There there will be a husband to make you a wife. Look at how she blushes. She's always done that. You have to go to church. I have to get a ladder. 

SARAH: A ladder—what's that for? 

NURSE: So that her love can climb up a bird's nest soon when it is dark—you know what I'm sayin'? I mean, she may have given me a heavy burden today. But she is going to bear the weight tonight. Okay, you go to church. I need to get something to eat. 

JULIET: This is wonderful. 

NURSE: Have you eaten yet? 

SARAH: No. Should we get something? 

NURSE: Yes.