Ralph: Hello, everyone. And welcome to the show. I'm afraid that just as we were getting underway, there's been a bit of an unexpected development. 

Hostess: No, it's not unexpected at all. It happens all the time. That's part of the problem. 

Sly: Ill feeze you, in faith. 

Hostess: A pair of stocks, you rogue. 

Ralph: Oh, there's no reason to get into a fight here. Let's just work through this like reasonable adults and introduce our audience to what's going on. But just to clarify, since that's part of my job here, you said Ill feeze you. What does that mean, Ill feeze you? 

Hostess: He thinks he's going to scare me. But you don't scare me at all. 

Ralph: And then you said a pair of stocks, you rogue. 

Hostess: Are we going to have to explain every word we say? Because I don't have time for that. 

Ralph: Oh, well, I just want to make sure we get off to a good start. So stocks? 

Hostess: You know, stocks. To lock him up in the public square. 

Ralph: Oh, right. Of course. Our audience may not know that it was a form of punishment in Shakespeare's day to lock somebody up using stocks by the hands or feet in the public square, where they were then subjected to all sorts of abuse. 

Hostess: Which is what a rogue deserves. 

Ralph: Oh, right. If you don't mind, rogue? It's the last one for now, I promise. 

Hostess: A rogue. It's what it sounds like. It's him. An idle, no good, lazy, dishonest, unprincipled vagabond. A rascal, a scoundrel. 

Sly: And you're a baggage. You know, a baggage. It's a worthless woman, sometimes a loose woman, a strumpet. 

Hostess: What? Are you going to let him treat me this way? 

Ralph: That did sound a little rude, sir. 

Sly: And the Slys are no rogues. Look in the Chronicles. We came in with Richard Conqueror. 

Ralph: Ah, the chronicles. Now, this one I know. The Chronicles were a work of British history published in 1577. And they served as a major source of stories for many of Shakespeare's plays. Incidentally, it was edited by my namesake, Raphael Holinshed, though as my fans know, I go by Ralph. But this Richard Conqueror, I think you must mean William the Conqueror. Conqueror wasn't his last name. His name was William and he was the Conqueror, well, because he conquered England in the 11th century. 

Sly: Which is precisely my point. The Slys have been in England for over 500 years, ever since Richard Conqueror first came here. 

Ralph: Uh, William. You mean William the-- the Conqueror. 

Hostess: I don't care what his name was. It doesn't give you the right to go breaking glasses in my tavern and not pay for them. 

Sly: Paucas pallabris Fewer words. Let the world slide. 

Ralph: Let the world slide. I-- I have a note about this one. Apparently there was an English proverb that went, and I quote, let the world slide. Let the world go. A fig for care, and a fig for woe. If I can't pay, why, I can owe. And death makes equal the high and low. 

Sly: Exactly. I love that ditty. Great song. Does any of this really matter anyway? 

Hostess: It matters to me when it's my glasses you break. And I'm the one you owe. 

Sly: Sessa. 

Hostess: Look, are you going to settle this or not? Or am I just wasting my time here? 

Ralph: Me? You want me to settle it? 

Hostess: Yeah. Isn't this that Court TV, or whatever? 

Ralph: No. I don't-- I don't know where you got that idea. Anyway, we have a strict non-interference policy. 

Hostess: This is unbelievable, wasting my time on a couple of rogues. 

Ralph: A couple? Oh, you mean me? I-- I'm no rogue. I mean, I am actually related to Raphael Holinshed. 

Hostess: And you're not going to pay for the glasses you've broken? 

Sly: Not even a denier. 

Ralph: Uh, that's a kind of French coin. It's worthless. 

Hostess: Fine. You won't pay and you won't help? I know how to settle this. I'm going to fetch the headborough. 

Ralph: Oh, I don't think you're going to find one around here. I'm guessing a headborough. Must be a kind of a police officer, or a judge, or something. 

Sly: Third borough, fourth or fifth, let him come. I'll answer him with the law. I'll not budge an inch, boy. Let him come. Kindly. 

Ralph: Oh, dear. 

Sly: [SNORING] 

Ralph: Well, I guess this gives me a chance to catch up a bit. You might be wondering what this conflict we just witnessed has to do with The Taming of the Shrew, a Shakespeare play set in Italy that tells the story of Baptista Minola, a wealthy businessman from Padua in Italy, who is looking to marry off his two daughters, Kate and Bianca. As you'll see, Bianca has plenty of suitors. It's going to be no trouble finding a husband for her. But Baptista won't let anybody court Bianca until the older daughter, Katherina, or Kate, gets married first. The problem is that Kate has no suitors at all because everybody seems to find her, well, hard to be around. She is what people called at the time a shrew, a disagreeable woman who would complain a lot and scold people every chance she could. So at some point, we have to ask ourselves, why start here? Why this drunk beggar, Sly, and his fight with the hostess of a tavern? And we're not even in Italy yet. Shakespeare's audience would have thought that this scene was taking place in the London of their time as if it were a tavern just down the street from the theater. So why start this way? I actually have a theory about this. But it's at this moment that a new character walks into the tavern. More on that when we return.