Sofia: Welcome back, everyone. In Shakespeare's day a comedy meant a happy story and happy stories usually ended with a marriage. And this story has no fewer than three of them. So here we are at the end, celebrating a banquet with our three married couples. Kate and Petruchio, Bianca and Lucentio, and the widow who marries Hortensio. Thank you so much for joining us. Remind me of your name again. 

Widow: Delighted to be here. 

Hortensio: Aw, that's my girl. 

Sofia: Now, the last time we saw most of you, Lucentio's father, Vincentio, and Bianca and Kate's father, Baptista, were pretty upset. Baptista was mad because Bianca and Lucentio had gotten married in secret. And your father, Lucentio, was mad because Tranio was trying to get him hauled off to jail. 

Lucentio: Everything is fine now, Sofia. They've both come down. It just took a little time for them to adjust to the new situation. So, let's not focus on the past. Actually I have a little toast for the banquet. Would you mind? 

Sofia: Oh, sure. Go right ahead. 

Lucentio: At last, though long, our jarring notes agree. 

Sofia: I'm sorry. I know you're in the middle of something, but jarring notes? Oh, you mean like music. At last your notes are playing together in harmony instead of the jarring sound created and all the confusion of those disguises and all of the lies and misunderstandings. Come to think of it there's been a lot of music in this story, from the references to musical scales with you, Petruchio, and your sol-fa with Grumio. 

Petruchio: How do you even remember that? 

Sofia: And you, Hortensio, with your disguise as a music teacher and your new-fangled approach to teaching scales. Hortensio's gammit, you called it. 

Widow: What was that about, Hortensio? 

Hortensio: Oh it was nothing, honey. Let's not focus on the past. 

Lucentio: May I continue, Sofia? 

Sofia: Of course. Go right ahead. 

Lucentio: At last, though long, are jarring notes agree. And time it is when raging war is done to smile at scape's and perils overblown. Feast with the best and welcome to my house. For now, we sit to chat as well as eat. 

Hortensio: Oh. 

Sofia: Oh, how nice. Three marriages. All of Padua is in a mood to celebrate. S,o I think we'll just leave you all to it. We just wanted our audience to see you all happy in this setting together to show how nicely this all wrapped up. Why don't we all just look out to camera two. 

Petruchio: Nothing but sit and sit and eat and eat. 

Sofia: I'm sorry? 

Petruchio: Just saying, it just seems like that's all we do around here is just sit and sit, eat and eat. 

Sofia: Well it is a party. Oh, are we not done? Oh, I had some pages stuck together. Sit and sit and eat and eat. Ummm…OK. It's a little hard to read your tone Petruchio. 

Petruchio: There's no tone. I'm just stating facts, Sof. We just sit and eat and eat. 

Sofia: Well, I'm not going to press it in polite company. But Baptista replies, Padua affords this kindness on Petruchio. Well that's nice. And look, he called you, son. 

Petruchio: Padua affords nothing but what is kind. 

Sofia: Oh, dear. Sounds like another pun. There's no way you'd be making a simple compliment? 

Petruchio: Better look it up there, Sof. 

Sofia: Oh, yeah. Kind, like kindred, which means family, relatives. So Padua affords nothing but what is kindred? You mean all of the new family that you have? 

Petruchio: Just look around. 

Hortensio: But, but Petruchio, for both our sakes I hope Padua also affords us nothing but kindness. 

Sofia: And that's where the pun comes in. 

Hortensio: Yeah. 

Sofia: One word, two meanings. Though, what do you mean, Hortensio, by hoping for kindness from Padua? 

Hortensio: Oh, nothing. 

Petruchio: I think he means, Sofia, that he finds his widow here a little fearful. 

Widow: Trust me, I'm not one to be afraid of anything. 

Petruchio: Oh, trust me. That's a beautiful thing to hear of you Darling, but you missed my sense. I mean Hortensio is afraid of you. 

Sofia: OK. Maybe we should all just have a drink, enjoy the party, you know, happy ending. 

Widow: He that is giddy, thinks the world turns round. 

Sofia: Boy, I guess we have to see where this goes. He that is giddy-- by giddy, you mean dizzy. So he that is dizzy thinks the world turns round. That's an interesting expression, actually. A dizzy person thinks the world is spinning, but that's only from the dizzy person's perspective. It's not the world that's spinning around them. It just feels like it. But why would you be saying that, right now? 

Petruchio: Just a roundabout way she has of answering me, Sofia. 

Sofia: Not sure that I get it. 

Kate: Yea, what was that supposed to mean? 

Widow: Don't look at me. I got it from Petruchio. 

Petruchio: Did you hear that Hortensio? Your widow says she got it from me. 

Sofia: Oh, dear. This seems to be getting a little nasty. 

Hortensio: She's just saying you gave her the idea in the first place. 

Petruchio: Oh, good job making nice, Hortensio. Widow, you should kiss him for that. 

Sofia: Could we just get your name so we don't keep calling you, Widow? 

Kate: He that is giddy thinks the world turns round. Now, I want you to tell me what you meant by that. 

Sofia: Or, we can all just toast and pretend like that never happened. 

Kate: OK, keep out of this, Sofia. 

Sofia: It's what we do where I come from. 

Kate: No, what did you mean? 

Widow: Your husband, being troubled with a shrew, measures my husband's sorrow by his woe. And now you know my meaning. 

Sofia: Oh, dear. 

Kate: That's a very mean meaning. 

Widow: It is a mean meaning because I mean you. 

Kate: Oh. I mean all right when it comes to you. 

Sofia: Are you guys punning again? Like how many meanings does mean have? 

Petruchio: Go get her, Kate. 

Hortensio: Go get her, Widow. 

Sofia: You call her Widow, too? 

Petruchio: I bet you 100 my Kate gets the best of her. 

Hortensio: Oh, well, I'm the one who's supposed to get the best of her if you know what I mean. 

Petruchio: That's a good one brother. 

Hortensio: Yeah! 

Bianca: Ladies, I think it's time for us three little birds to fly to another bush. This is my party. I'm the new bride. I want you to come with me. Let's go. 

Petruchio: Aw, isn't that too bad. I was just going to start picking on Bianca there. Hey, remember when Tranio aimed his arrow at that little bird, Bianca? But he didn't hit her did he. Here's a toast to all those who shot and missed. 

Sofia: Um

Petruchio: I'll drink alone. 

Sofia: Oh, and then Tranio says, when it comes to Bianca Lucentio slipped me like his greyhound so it could catch for his master. OK, I need a little help with that one. 

Lucentio: There's a lot of hunting metaphors flying around, Sofia. Tranio means that he was like my greyhound, you know, the dog who on a hunt might be let off the leash to catch the prey on its own but to catch it for its master. So Tranio was like a greyhound for me when he was trying to catch Bianca. 

Petruchio: The swift simile but something a little curish. 

Sofia: I'm sorry. I don't want to slow it down but curish? 

Hortensio: Well, a cur is a dog. Now, so you get the dog reference, but curish also means a little bit course. A little bit rough around the edges, like a stray dog is. 

Sofia: Oh, I get it. So this simile is curish because it includes a dog, the greyhound. But Petruchio thinks the simile isn't a perfect one either. 

Petruchio: I'm so proud of you, Sofia. Look at you keeping up. Can we get her a drink? Somebody get her a drink. 

Sofia: It's fine. I'm not here to drink. And we're not done with this banter apparently. Tranio says, back to you, Petruchio. That it's good you hunted for yourself. So I guess he's talking about you and Kate when it comes to this hunting business. But then he adds, his thoughts your dear does hold you at bay. Don't tell me that's another hunting metaphor too? 

Lucentio: You're catching on, Sofia. When you're hunting deer, a deer can hold you at bay. You know, keep you away when it's cornered by threatening you with its horns. 

Hortensio: But it's also a pun because deer can sound like two different words. The deer you hunt, but also dear for, you know, your wife. 

Petruchio: As in, my dear, Kate. 

Sofia: Got it. That's a good one, actually. So Tranio is saying that Kate can be pretty aggressive when she's cornered. And Baptista thinks Tranio got you with that one, Petruchio. 

Lucentio: Glad Tranio was helping out against this guy. This needs to be a team effort. 

Hortensio: He did get pretty good with that one, Petruchio. 

Petruchio: Yeah, he did. He got me. He got me. Just a little. But it was a glancing blow, really. I'd bet 10 to 1 that comment hit you two worse. 

Sofia: What do you mean? It seems like everybody thinks you're the one who married the shrew. 

Petruchio: Oh. 

Sofia: It's your wife, your dear Kate, who's most likely to keep you at bay. 

Petruchio: I'm sorry. I must be the only one in the room mistaken. I say, no. And I can prove it. Why don't we each send for our wives and see whose wife is the most obedient by which one comes hither quicker. In fact, let's place a bet on it. 

Sofia: Seriously? You're going to bet on whose wife is the most obedient? 

Petruchio: Just a friendly wager, Sof. And all we're doing is asking our wives to come back to the interview table. It's a simple request, you know? 

Hortensio: I'm in. How much? 

Lucentio: Let's make it 20 crowns. 

Sofia: Wait. Crowns. We learned about crowns. I think that's about $2000. 

Petruchio: 20 crowns, yuck. I bet that much on my hawk or my dog. I wouldn't bet 20 times that much on my wife. 

Lucentio: Fine. Will make it 100 crowns. 

Sofia: $10,000? How much money do you people have? 

Hortensio: I'm in. 

Petruchio: All right. We have a bet, gentlemen. Who's going first? 

Lucentio: I will. Sofia, could you get word to Biondello to ask my wife to come back to the studio? 

Sofia: Sure. I guess we can do that. Did you guys catch that? Could someone tell Biondello? 

Lucentio: She'll be here in a second. 

Petruchio: Oh, I'm sure. 

Sofia: Oh, and Baptista, your new father-in-law, Lucentio says he'll split the bet with you. I think he's pretty sure you're going to win. 

 

Lucentio: Yeah, I'm not splitting this bet with anybody. I'll take all the risk myself. I'm sure she's on her way right now. 

Petruchio: Mm-hmm. 

Sofia: And what's that? Oh, OK. According to Biondello, she says she's busy right now and can't come. 

Petruchio: Oo. What? She's busy right now? She can't come? What? What kind of answer is that? 

Hortensio: Sofia, have Biondello entreat my wife to come back right away and please have him say it exactly like that. 

Petruchio: Oo, entreat her, he said. 

Sofia: Did you guys get that? And what does entreat mean, exactly? 

Lucentio: You know, to plead a little. It's kind of begging her to come back. 

Petruchio: You know, Sofia, if he entreats her to come back right away, oh, she's going to have to do his bidding. 

Hortensio: You're lucky I have that option, Petruchio. Your wife could never be entreated. What's happening Sofia? She should be here by now. 

Sofia: Yes. Really? OK. Well, since we're being specific with our words here, your wife, Hortensio, says, you must be kidding. I won't come back. You come to me. 

Petruhcio: Worse and worse. I won't come back? Oh, how vile. How intolerable. I don't know how you two put up with that. Sofia, could you please get word to Gremio to go and tell his mistress that I command her to come back here? 

Sofia: Command? You want me to tell Gremio that you command her? 

Petruchio: Uh-huh. 

Sofia: You guys can get word to Gremio, right? 

Hortensio: Why bother? I know Kate's answer to that. 

Petruchio: Oh do you? What is Kate's answer to that? Pray tell. 

Hortensio: She's not coming back. 

Petruchio: That would be bad for me. And an end to everything, actually. 

Sofia: My goodness, here she comes. 

Kate: I heard you wanted me to come back. Is there something I can do for you? 

Petruchio: No actually, but where's your sister and Hortensio's wife? 

Kate: Well, they're chatting by the fire. 

Petruchio: By the fire? Go get them. And if they say they don't want to come just, you know, beat them back here. Go on now and bring them straight back. 

Kate: OK. 

Petruchio: Thank you. 

Lucentio: I can't believe what I just saw. 

Hortensio: Me either and what does it mean? It's making me a little nervous. 

Petruchio: I'll tell you what it means. It means peace, love, a quiet life. It means profound respect. Means, rightful supremacy. Briefly, it means everything that's sweet and happy. 

Sofia: Wow. Baptista is amazed, as well. He congratulates you for winning the bet, Petruchio, and says he'll offer another 20,000 crowns to the dowry. Or as he puts it, a second dowry because Kate is like a completely different person. 

Petruchio: Well, I'll do him one better yet and show off her new virtue and obedience. Just, aw, here she comes bringing your froward wives prisoners to her womanly persuasion. Uh, Katherine, that hat thing you're wearing, it just doesn't look good on you. Off with it. Throw it on the ground. 

Widow: Oh, my. May I never have reason to complain about anything until I'm made to do something as silly as that. 

Bianca: What are you doing? You think that's being dutiful? That's being foolish. 

Lucentio: Too bad your sense of duty isn't as foolish. You've cost me 100 crowns since you left. 

Bianca: I think that makes you the fool for expecting such foolish behavior from your wife. 

Petruchio: Katherine, I would like you to tell these headstrong women about the duty they owe their lords and husbands. 

Widow: Oh, come on. You must be joking. Nobody is going to lecture us on how to be a wife. 

Petruchio: Oh, come on. You can start with her. 

Widow: She's not going to do that. 

Petruchio: Oh she will because I say she will. Kate? You can start with her. 

Kate: Fie, fie. Unknit that threatening unkind brow and dart not scornful glances from those eyes to wound thy lord, thy king, thy Governor. It blots thy beauty as frost do bite the meads, confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds and in no sense is meet or amiable. A woman moved is like a fountain troubled-- muddy, ill seeming, thick, bereft of beauty, and while it is so, none so dry or thirsty will deign to sip or touch one drop of it. Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper, thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee and for thy maintenance commits his body to painful labor, both by sea and land, to watch the night and storms, the day in cold, whilst thy liest warm at home, secure and safe, And craves no other tribute at thy hand but love, fair looks, and true obedience. Too little payment for so great a debt. Such duty as the subject owes the prince, even such a woman oweth to her husband. And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour, and not obedient to his honest will, what is she but a foul contending rebel and graceless traitor to her loving lord? I am ashamed that women are so simple. To offer war where they should kneel for peace or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway when they are bound to serve, love, and obey. Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth? Unapt to toil and trouble in the world, but that our soft conditions and our hearts should well agree with our external parts?Come, come, you froward and unable worms. My mind hath been as big as one of yours, my heart as great. My reason haply more to bandy word for word and frown for frown. But now I see our lances are but straws, our strength as weak, our weakness past compare that seeming to be most, which we indeed least are. Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot. And placed your hands below your husband's foot. In token, of which duty if he please, my hand is ready. May it do him ease. 

Petruchio: That's my wife. Kiss me, Kate. 

Lucentio: Well done, Petruchio. You are definitely the winner. 

Petruchio: Thank you. Come, Kate, let's go to bed. We three are married, but you two are sped. Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white. Being a winner, God give you good night. 

Sofia: Question. You hit the white? 

Lucentio: Archery reference this time. The bullseye, it's white. 

Sofia: Oh, you hit the bull's eye. 

Hortensio: And you know, Bianca, in Italian that means white. 

Sofia: Oh, I get it but wait, he's really calling you the winner? 

Lucentio: Yeah. 

Kate: Uh, yeah? 

Lucentio: Well, I mean of course I'm a winner, honey. I married you. 

Hortensio: Did everybody see what I just saw? He really tamed a cursed shrew. 

Lucentio: It's amazing she could be tamed like that. 

Hortensio: Yeah. 

Sofia: Well, look at that. We really have reached the end of our story, this time. Thank you for joining us, everyone. 

Hortensio: Wait. There's nothing more about what happens next, I mean, you know, with the rest of us? 

Sofia: The rest of you? 

Lucentio: Yeah, you know, I mean, more about our relationships. 

Kate: Like what? What about our relationships? 

Sofia: Are you sure you want to go there? 

Widow: I hope you're not getting any ideas, Hortensio. 

Hortensio: Oh, no. No, no, ideas. It's just Sofia had all those cards. You know, I'm just curious to find out more about what happens next with me and you, you know? 

Widow: We're going to enjoy this party is what happens next. 

[INAUDIBLE BANTER] 

Sofia: Looks like it's time to discuss amongst yourselves. Thank you for joining us, everyone. Thank you for joining us. I'm not getting involved in this. What do you think this is all about? I am not getting involved. No, no, no. You should really talk to your sister. Everyone look out to camera two. Out to camera two.