Grumio

No, no, I really can’t. I’d be risking my life.

Katherina

The more I suffer, the more he wants to harm me. What, did he marry me just to make me starve? When beggars come to my father’s house, they immediately get what they need. If not there, then they get it somewhere else. But I — who never learned how to beg, and never needed to beg — am starving and delirious with lack of sleep. I’m kept awake by his cursing, and only fed by fighting! And the thing that angers me more than anything? He does all this in the name of love, as if sleeping or eating would make me deadly ill, or kill me on the spot. I’m begging you, Grumio, go and get me something to eat. I don’t care what it is as long as it’s food.

Grumio

How about an ox’s foot?

Katherina

That’s great, just let me have it.

Grumio

No, I think it’ll make you angry. How about broiled cow stomach?

Katherina

I love it. Please, Grumio, get it for me.

Grumio

I don’t know... I’m afraid it’ll make you angry as well. What about a piece of beef with mustard?

Katherina

One of my favorite meals.

Grumio

Yes, but mustard might be too spicy.

Katherina

Just beef, then, without the mustard.

Grumio

No, no, you can’t have beef from me unless you have the mustard, too.

Katherina

Then both, or one, or whatever you want!

Grumio

Fine, then, just mustard without beef.

Katherina

Go, get out of here, you lying servant!

You’ll only feed me by talking about food. Curse you, all of you, enjoying my misery like this! Get out of here.

Petruchio

How is my Kate doing? Why the long face, sweetheart?

Hortensio

How are you, mistress?

Katherina

I swear, I’m as cold as can be.

Petruchio

Well, cheer up, give me a smile! Here, love. Look how thoughtful I am, seasoning your food myself and bringing it to you. Surely that deserves some thanks, sweet Kate. What, not a word? Well, I guess you don’t like it. All that work for nothing. Here, take away this dish.

Katherina

Please, leave it.

Petruchio

Even the worst service deserves some thanks. And you’ll thank me before you touch your food.

Katherina

Thank you, sir.

Hortensio

Sir Petruchio, shame on you! You’ve gone too far. Come on, miss Kate, I’ll keep you company.

Petruchio

Come, tailor, let’s see these accessories. Show us the gown.

What’s new with you, sir?

Haberdasher

Here is the hat you ordered, your worship.

Petruchio

Why, this was shaped on a bowl! It’s like a velvet dish! Ugh, it’s lowly and filthy, a seashell or a walnut shell, a trinket, a toy, a trick, a baby’s hat. Take it away. Come on, give me a bigger one.

Katherina

I like this size. It’s fashionable, and gentlewomen wear hats like this.

Petruchio

Well as soon as you’re gentle, you can have one. Not until then.

Hortensio

[Aside] That won’t happen anytime soon.

Katherina

Well, sir, I hope I have permission to speak — and speak I will. I’m not a child, not a baby. Better men than you have listened to what I have to say, and if you can’t listen, you’d better plug your ears. My tongue will speak the anger of my heart, or my heart will break from holding it in. Instead of letting that happen, I’ll be as free as I want through my words.

Petruchio

Right you are. It’s a pitiful hat, a pastry crust, a trifle, a silken pie. I love you more because you don’t like the hat.

Katherina

Love me or not, I like the hat. And I will have it, or no hat at all.

Petruchio

And how about the gown? Come, tailor, let’s see it.

Oh, God have mercy! What is this masquerade costume? What’s this, a sleeve? It looks more like a cannon. Cut up and down like an apple pie — snip, nip, cut, slish and slash, like a lattice in a barber’s shop. Why, what in devil’s name do you call this, tailor?

Hortensio

[Aside] It looks like she’ll have neither a hat nor a gown.

Tailor

You told me to make it carefully and well, and to make it according to the latest fashion.

Petruchio

I certainly did, but if you remember, I didn’t tell you to break it according to the latest fashion. Go trudge through the gutters to get home, for all I care. You’ll be going without payment from me. I’ll have none of this. Take it away, go see if you can do something with it.

Katherina

Well I’ve never seen a more stylish gown, more elegant, pleasing, or lovely! Perhaps you’re trying to make a puppet out of me.

Petruchio

True, he’s trying to make a puppet out of you.

Tailor

She’s saying you want to make a puppet out of her, your worship.

Petruchio

Oh monstrous arrogance! You’re lying, you thread, you thimble. You yard — three quarters, half yard, quarter, a few inches. You flea, you louse, you cricket. Insulted in my own house by a spool of thread? Get away, you rag, you shred, you remnant, or I’ll see how you measure up. I’ll beat you with your yard-stick — then you’ll think before you babble as long as you live! I am telling you, you’ve ruined her gown.

Tailor

Your worship is mistaken. The gown was made just as my master was told. Grumio gave me the order.

Grumio

I gave him no order, I gave him the materials.

Tailor

Well then how did you want it to be made?

Grumio

With needle and thread, of course.

Tailor

But didn’t you want it to be cut?

Grumio

You’ve trimmed many things.

Tailor

I have.

Grumio

Well don’t trim me. You have insulted many men, but don’t insult me. I will neither be trimmed nor insulted. I tell you, I told your master to cut the gown, but I didn’t tell him to cut it to pieces. So you’re lying.

Tailor

Well, here is the note you sent, as proof of what I’m saying.

Petruchio

Read it.

Grumio

The note lies in his throat, if he says I sent it.

Tailor

[Reads] First of all, a loose-fitting gown.

Grumio

Master, if I ever said loose-fitting gown, sew me into its skirts and beat me to death with a ball of brown thread. I said a gown.

Petruchio

[To the Tailor] Proceed.

Tailor

With a small flared cape.

Grumio

I admit I ordered the cape.

Tailor

With a wide sleeve.

Grumio

I admit to two sleeves.

Tailor

The sleeves exquisitely cut.

Petruchio

Well there’s the problem.

Grumio

Error in the note, sir, error in the note! I commanded that the sleeves should be cut out and sewn up again. I’ll prove it in a fight, even if your little finger is armed with a thimble.

Tailor

If we were in the right place I’d fight you. I mean it.

Grumio

I’m ready for you now. You take your note, give me your yardstick, and don’t go easy on me.

Hortensio

God have mercy, Grumio! He won’t stand a chance.

Petruchio

Well, sir, the gown is not for me.

Grumio

You’re right, sir, it’s for my mistress.

Petruchio

Go, take it up so your master can use it.

Grumio

You scoundrel, no way! Lift up my mistress’ gown for your master’s use!

Petruchio

What do you mean by that?

Grumio

Oh, sir, the meaning is deeper than you think. Lift up my mistress’ gown for his master’s use! Tsk, tsk, tsk!

Petruchio

[Aside] Hortensio, tell the tailor you will see that he gets paid. [To the Tailor] Go, take it away. Leave and say no more.

Hortensio

[Aside to Tailor] Tailor, I’ll pay you for the gown tomorrow. Don’t be offended by his rash words. Go, I say! Give my regards to your master.

[Exit Tailor]

Petruchio

Well, come on, Kate. We’ll go to your father’s house even in these respectable but common clothes. Our wallets will be rich, our garments poor. For it’s the mind that makes the body rich, and just like the sun breaks through the darkest clouds, honor peeps through the lowliest clothing. Is the jay more precious than the lark, because his feathers are more beautiful? Is the snake better than the eel, because his patterned skin appeals to the eye? No, good Kate. And likewise, you are no worse because of your poor accessories and ordinary clothes. If you feel ashamed, blame it on me. So enjoy yourself! Let’s leave right away, to feast and entertain ourselves at your father’s house. [To Grumio] Go, call my men, and let’s go straight there. Bring our horses to the end of Long Lane. We’ll walk there on foot, and then get on our horses. Let’s see... I think it’s now around seven in the morning, so we might make it there by lunch.

Katherina

I promise you, sir, it’s almost two in the afternoon. It’ll be dinner time before we get there.

Petruchio

I won’t get on my horse unless it’s seven. Whatever I say, or do, or think about doing, you’re always against it. Never mind, sirs. I won’t go today, and before I go, it has to be whatever o’clock I say it is.

Hortensio

[Aside] Well, then this gentlemen will command the sun.