Lucentio

Hold on, fiddler. You’re too eager. Did you already forget how her sister Katherina thanked you last time?

Hortensio

You quarrelsome teacher. Bianca is the queen of heavenly harmony. Let me go first, and once we’ve had a music lesson for an hour, you can lecture her for the same amount of time.

Lucentio

You foolish ass, you haven’t read enough to know why music was created. Was it not to refresh a man’s mind after his studies or his daily work? Let me read my philosophy, and you can teach music when I take a break.

Hortensio

Hey, I won’t stand for your teasing.

Bianca

Gentlemen, you’re both doing me wrong, trying to settle something that’s for me to decide. I’m no schoolgirl for you to scold. I won’t be tied to some schedule and its appointed times. I’ll learn my lessons the way I want to learn them. To end this argument, let’s all sit down. Litio, start playing your instrument; Cambio’s lecture will be done before you’ve even tuned it.

Hortensio

And you’ll stop listening to him as soon as I’m in tune?

Lucentio

That will be never. Tune your instrument.

Bianca

Where did we leave off?

Lucentio

Here, madam: [reading] “Hic ibat Simois; hic est Sigeia tellus; Hic steterat Priami regia celsa senis.”

Bianca

Translate it.

Lucentio

Hic ibat means “as I told you before”; Simois, “I am Lucentio,” hic est, “son of Vincentio of Pisa”; Sigeia tellus, “disguised like this to win your love”; Hic steterat, “and that other Lucentio who has come to woo you”; Priami, “is my servant Tranio”; regia, “dressed up like me”; celsa senis, “so we can trick that old man.”

Hortensio

Madam, my instrument’s in tune.

Bianca

Let’s hear it. [He plays] No, no. That high note is way off.

Lucentio

Try spitting in the hole, man. Tune again.

Bianca

Hortensio

Madam, it’s in tune now.

Lucentio

All but the bass notes.

Hortensio

Bianca

[To Lucentio] Maybe I’ll trust you eventually, but I don’t believe you yet.

Lucentio

[Aside to Bianca] Believe me — [aloud] for it’s certain that Aeacides is another name for Ajax. He was called that because of his grandfather.

Bianca

I guess I have to believe my teacher. Otherwise, I swear I’d still be arguing with you on that point. But let’s forget it. Now, Litio, it’s your turn. Good teachers, please don’t take it the wrong way that I’ve been so playful with you both.

Hortensio

[To Lucentio] Go take a walk, and leave us alone for a while. I don’t have music for a third player.

Lucentio

Why so strict, sir? Anyway, I’ll wait. [Aside] And I’ll watch, too. If I’m not mistaken, our fine musician is growing romantic. [He stands aside.]

Hortensio

Madam, before you touch the instrument, I have to teach you the basics of the art so you can learn the right fingering. I’ll teach you scales efficiently. It’ll be more pleasant, quick, and effective than the way other music teachers do it. There it is in writing, neatly written.

Bianca

I learned scales a long time ago.

Hortensio

Well, read Hortensio’s scale anyway.

Bianca

[Reads] “I’m a scale, the foundation of any harmony. A, re, pleading for Hortensio’s love; B mi, Bianca, take him as your husband; C fa ut, since he loves you with all his heart; D sol re, I’m two notes in one; E la mi, pity me, or I’ll die.” You call this a scale? Well I don’t like it. I prefer the old fashioned way. I’m not so picky that you need to change the old rules for strange new ideas.

[Enter a Servant]

Servant

Mistress, your father wants you to leave your lessons and help decorate your sister’s room. You know tomorrow is her wedding day.

Bianca

Goodbye, my dear teachers. I have to go.

Lucentio

Well if you go, mistress, then I have no reason to stay.

Hortensio

But I have a reason to investigate this teacher. He looks like he’s in love. Bianca, if your thoughts are so lowly that you’d fall for any old decoy, then let them win you. If I ever find you straying, I’ll get even with you by changing my affections, too.