Bianca
Good sister, don’t do this to me—or to yourself. Don’t treat me like a slave. If you want my clothes, just untie me and I’ll take them off myself. You can have them all, down to my slip. I’ll do what you ask. I know to obey my elders.
Katherina
In that case, here’s what I ask: who do you like best of all your suitors? Tell the truth.
Bianca
Trust me, I’ve never seen a man I liked more than the rest.
Katherina
You’re lying, you brat. It’s Hortensio, isn’t it?
Bianca
Do you have a crush on him? By all means, you can have him. I’ll send him your way myself.
Katherina
Oh, I see, you want to be rich. You’d choose Gremio.
Bianca
You’re jealous because of him? You must be joking. I see, you’ve been joking the whole time. Kate, please, untie my hands.
Katherina
[Striking her] If that’s a joke, then I guess all the rest was, too.
Baptista
What is going on, girl? Where does this anger come from? Bianca, get away from her. Poor girl, she’s crying! Go work on your sewing, don’t worry about her. [To Katherina] You should be ashamed of yourself, acting like a monster. Why are you doing this to her, when she never did you wrong? Has she ever even said anything to anger you?
Katherina
Her silence insults me. And I’ll get my revenge.
Baptista
Right in front of me? Bianca, get inside.
Katherina
Can’t you just leave me alone? No, now I see. She’s your treasure, she must have a husband. But I must dance alone, single on her wedding day and die an old maid. Don’t talk to me. I’ll go sit and weep until I get an opportunity for revenge.
Baptista
Has any man ever had it so bad? Hey, who’s there?
Gremio
Good morning, neighbor Baptista.
Baptista
Good morning, neighbor Gremio. Hello, gentlemen!
Petruchio
Hello to you, good sir! You have a daughter named Katherina, right? Pretty and kind?
Baptista
Well, I do have a daughter named Katherina.
Gremio
You’re being too blunt, Petruchio. Be polite about it, and explain yourself.
Petruchio
Leave me be, Signor Gremio. [To Baptista] I’m a gentleman from Verona, sir. I have come here because I heard about your daughter: her beauty and her wit, her friendliness and her shy modesty, her wonderful qualities and mild behavior. I’m here to boldly ask to be a guest in your house. I want to see your daughter for myself, after hearing so much about her. And in return for hosting me, I present you with my servant. [Presenting Hortensio] He’s skilled at music and math — he can teach them to Bianca; I know she’s good at those subjects. Accept him, or you’ll offend me. His name is Litio, and he’s from Mantua.
Baptista
Welcome, sir. And your servant, too, if you say so. As for my daughter Katherina, I know she’s not the girl for you, unfortunately for me.
Petruchio
So you don’t want to let her go? Or do you not like me?
Baptista
Don’t get me wrong, I’m just calling it as I see it. Where are you from, sir? What’s your name?
Petruchio
My name is Petruchio. I’m the son of Antonio, who is famous throughout Italy.
Baptista
I know him well, so I’m glad to welcome you here.
Gremio
With all due respect, Petruchio, save your story for later. We all have favors to ask of Baptista. Let us speak, too. Step back. You’re too eager.
Petruchio
Oh, pardon me, Signor Gremio, but I’d like to get on with it.
Gremio
I don’t doubt it, sir, but I swear you’ll regret this pursuit. Neighbors, Petruchio’s gift was very kind. [To Baptista] To express the same kindness, I, who owe you more than anyone, offer you this young scholar. He’s been studying in Rheims. He is as skilled in Greek, Latin, and other languages, as the other man is in music and math. His name is Cambio; please accept his service.
Baptista
Thanks a million, Signor Gremio. Welcome, good Cambio. [To Tranio] But you, sir, seem like a stranger. Can I boldly ask why you’ve come here?
Tranio
Pardon me, sir — I’m the bold one. New to this city, I’m here as a suitor to your daughter Bianca, beautiful and virtuous. But I know you’ve made your decision about her older sister. This is all I ask of you: that when you learn more about me, you’ll welcome me among the other suitors, with the same access and favor as the rest. And to help in the education of your daughters, I give you a simple lute, and a small selection of Greek and Latin books. Your acceptance would add to their value.
Baptista
So your name is Lucentio. Where are you from?
Tranio
Pisa, sir. I’m the son of Vincentio.
Baptista
A mighty man from Pisa! I’ve heard a lot about him. Welcome, sir. [To Hortensio] You take the lute, [to Lucentio] and you take the set of books. You’ll both go see your students in a moment. You there, in the house!
Sir, lead these gentlemen to my daughters. Tell them both that these are their tutors, and that they should treat them well.
Let’s go for a walk in the orchard, and then to dinner. You are most welcome, so I hope you feel at home.
Petruchio
Signor Baptista, I’m afraid I’m in a hurry, and I can’t come here to woo Katherina every day. You knew my father well, so you know that I’m the only heir to his land and wealth, and I’ve improved it rather than decreased it. Tell me, if I win your daughter’s love, what dowry will she bring with her as my wife?
Baptista
Twenty thousand crowns right away, and then half of my lands after I die.
Petruchio
In return, I’ll guarantee her rights as a widow. If she lives longer than me, she will inherit all my lands and wealth. Let’s write up a contract between us, so we both keep our sides of the bargain.
Baptista
Yes, just as soon as you win her love — that is the most important part.
Petruchio
Oh, that’ll be easy. Let me tell you, father, I’m as determined as she is stubborn. And when two raging fires meet, they consume whatever fuels them. Even though fire grows with a little wind, too much wind will put the fire out. That’s what I’ll be to her. She’ll yield to me, since I’m tough. I don’t pursue women weakly.
Baptista
I hope you’re successful—good luck! But get ready for some insults.
Petruchio
I’ll shield myself like a mountain against the wind: mountains don’t shake, even though the wind never stops blowing.
Baptista
What happened, my friend? Why do you look so pale?
Hortensio
If I look pale, it’s from fear.
Baptista
What, is my daughter not a good musician?
Hortensio
I think she’d be a better soldier than a musician. Weapons might suit her, but never lutes.
Baptista
Can’t you break her in, and make her like the lute?
Hortensio
No, I can’t — she’s broken the lute on me! All I did was tell her she had the frets wrong, and move her hand to teach her the right fingering. Then all of a sudden, impatient and monstrous, she said, “You call these frets? I’ll do more than fret, I’ll fume!” And as she spoke, she hit me with the lute so that my head went right through it! And I stood there astonished for a while, my head sticking out of the wood as if I was on the stocks. She called me a worthless fiddler, a strumming scoundrel. She abused me with twenty of these names, as if she’d prepared them in advance.
Petruchio
What a lively woman. I swear, I love her ten times more than I did before. Oh, how I long to get to know her.
Baptista
[To Hortensio] Well, come with me. No need to be discouraged. Go practice with my younger daughter. She’s a fast learner, and a more grateful student. Signor Petruchio, do you want to come with us? Or should I send my daughter Kate to you?
Petruchio
Yes, please send her to me. I’ll wait for her here.
And I’ll woo her fiercely when she comes. If she yells at me, I’ll tell her she sings as sweetly as a nightingale. If she frowns, I’ll say she looks as serene as roses washed by the morning dew. If she’s mute and won’t say a word, I’ll compliment her talkativeness, her moving eloquence. If she sends me packing, I’ll thank her as if she’d asked me to stay with her for a week. If she says she won’t marry me, I’ll ask her when we should make our marriage announcement, and when the wedding will be. Here she comes. Now’s the time, Petruchio: speak.
Good morning, Kate! I hear that’s your name.
Katherina
You’ve heard well — for someone hard of hearing. They call me Katherina, those who speak of me.
Petruchio
You’re lying, I know you’re just called Kate. Or good old Kate, or sometimes Kate the cruel. But definitely Kate. The prettiest Kate in the world. Kate from Kateville, my sweetest Kate, for sweets are all Kates — so, Kate, hear me out, Kate my only comfort. I’ve heard so much about you. Your good manners are praised everywhere, your virtues and your beauty are thoroughly well-known. I’m so moved by your reputation that I’ve come to woo you — not as thoroughly as you deserve — and ask you to be my wife.
Katherina
Moved, you say? Well tell whoever moved you here to remove you. You definitely seem like a moveable.
Petruchio
What’s a moveable?
Katherina
A piece of furniture. A stool.
Petruchio
Exactly. So come sit on me.
Katherina
As if you were a donkey. Asses were made for bearing, and so are you.
Petruchio
Women are made for bearing, and so are you.
Katherina
Me? Not by a weak donkey like you.
Petruchio
Oh, my good Kate, I wouldn’t burden you. I know you’re too young and light —
Katherina
Too light for a peasant like you to catch. But no lighter than I should be.
Petruchio
Should be? What’s all this buzz about?
Katherina
Great, so you understand me, you buzzard.
Petruchio
You’re the turtle-dove to my buzzard.
Katherina
That’d be as pleasant as a turtle-dove eating a bee.
Petruchio
Oh, come on, my wasp. You’re getting too angry.
Katherina
If I’m a wasp, you’d better beware my sting.
Petruchio
I’ll pluck out your stinger.
Katherina
If you can find it, you fool.
Petruchio
Everyone knows where the wasp wears his stinger: in his tail.
Katherina
Wrong: in his tongue.
Petruchio
Whose tongue?
Katherina
Yours, if you keep talking about tales. Goodbye.
Petruchio
You’re leaving now, with my tongue in your tail? Come back, good Kate. I’m a gentleman.
Katherina
Let’s see if you are.
Petruchio
I swear I’ll hit you, if you slap me again.
Katherina
Then you’ll lose your arms. If you hit me, you’re no gentleman. And if you’re not a gentleman, well then you’ve got no coat of arms.
Petruchio
No coat of arms, Kate? Then write me in your family history.
Katherina
What’s your family crest? A jester’s hat? A coxcomb?
Petruchio
A combless cock, if Kate will be my hen.
Katherina
No cock of mine. You crow just like a cowardly rooster.
Petruchio
Oh, come on, Kate. Why the sour face?
Katherina
It’s how I look when faced with a crabapple.
Petruchio
Not a crabapple in sight. So why the sour face?
Katherina
Oh, but there is.
Petruchio
Then show it to me.
Katherina
I would, if I had a mirror.
Petruchio
Wait, you mean me?
Katherina
Good guess, for someone so childish.
Petruchio
By Saint George, you’re right. I’m too youthful for you.
Katherina
Yet your face is so wrinkled.
Petruchio
Wrinkled with worry.
Katherina
Doesn’t worry me.
Petruchio
Listen, Kate, you can’t escape so easily.
Katherina
If I stay, I’ll just keep annoying you. Let me go.
Petruchio
No, not at all! I find you to be quite gentle. I was told you were rude, disdainful, and gloomy. But those were all lies. In fact, you’re pleasant, playful, and extraordinarily courteous. You’re not sharp-tongued — you’re as sweet as flowers in springtime. You never frown or glare, or bite your lip like angry women do. You don’t take pleasure in angry speech. Instead, you entertain your suitors calmly, with polite speech, soft and friendly! And why does everyone say that Kate limps? They’re lying. Kate is as straight and slender as a hazel twig, as brown as hazelnuts — but even sweeter. Let me see you walk. See, you don’t limp.
Katherina
Leave now, you fool. And save the orders for your servants.
Petruchio
Diana has never graced a grove the way that Kate graces this room with her regal steps. You should be Diana, and let her be Kate. Then Kate can be chaste, and Diana playful with me.
Katherina
Where did you learn to speak like that?
Petruchio
Oh, it’s spontaneous. I was born with natural wit.
Katherina
A witless son from a witty mother.
Petruchio
Aren’t I wise?
Katherina
Yes, just wise enough to keep yourself warm.
Petruchio
That’s just what I mean, sweet Katherina. I’ll keep you warm in your bed. So let’s put this conversation aside. To put it simply, your father has decided that you’ll be my wife. We’ve already agreed on your dowry. Whether you like it or not, I’m going to marry you. Now, Kate, I’d suit you as a husband. I swear by the light — the light that lets me see your beauty, which is the reason I love you — that you’ll marry nobody else but me.
For I was born to tame you, Kate, to turn you from a wild Kate into a Kate as domesticated as any household Kate. Here comes your father. Don’t fight it. I must have, and will have, Katherina as my wife.
Baptista
Now, Signor Petruchio, how’s it going with my daughter?
Petruchio
How could it go any other way than perfectly? It was impossible for me to fail.
Baptista
Well what’s wrong, daughter Katherina? Down in the dumps?
Katherina
You call me your daughter? Oh sure, you’ve been a great father. Marrying me off to this half lunatic, this reckless, good-for-nothing hooligan! He thinks all he has to do is swear he’ll marry me, and it’s done.
Petruchio
Here’s the truth, father. You and everyone else who told me about her, told me wrong. If she’s cruel, it’s just as a strategy. For she’s not proud — she’s as modest as a dove. She’s not hot-headed, but temperate as the morning. As patient as Griselda, as chaste as the Romans’ Lucretia. We got along so well that we’ve set Sunday as the wedding day.
Katherina
I’d rather see you hanged on Sunday.
Gremio
Listen to that, Petruchio — she said she’d rather see you hanged.
Tranio
You call this success? Well then, we can say goodbye to our plan.
Petruchio
Be patient, gentlemen. I still choose to marry her. If she and I are happy together, what’s it to you? We made a plan between the two of us when we were alone: she’ll still act cruel in public. Let me tell you, it’s incredible how much she loves me! Oh, the kindest Kate! She clung to my neck, piling kisses onto kisses, and promises onto promises. She won me over faster than I could blink. You’re so naive. It’s priceless to see how tame a cowardly wretch like me can make even the cruelest hag, when men and women are alone. Give me your hand, Kate. I’m going to Venice to buy you a wedding dress. You provide the feast, father, and invite the guests. I’ll make sure Katherina is finely dressed.
Baptista
I don’t know what to say! Give me your hands. May God give you joy, Petruchio. It’s a match!
Gremio and Tranio
Amen. We’ll be the witnesses.
Petruchio
Father, wife, gentlemen: farewell. I’m off to Venice. Sunday’s fast approaching. We’ll have rings and things and the finest clothing. Kiss me, Kate—we’ll be married on Sunday!
Gremio
Has a marriage ever been thrown together so quickly?
Baptista
Indeed, gentleman. I feel like a salesman who’s about to make a risky deal.
Tranio
The goods have been wearing out for a while now. They’ll either bring you wealth or get lost in transit.
Baptista
The only wealth I want out of this marriage is some peace and quiet.
Gremio
She’s no quiet catch. But now, Baptista, let’s talk about your younger daughter. The time we’ve been waiting for has come. I’m your neighbor, and I was the first suitor.
Tranio
But I’m the one that loves Bianca more than words can say, or thoughts can imagine.
Gremio
There’s no way you love her as much as I do, youngster.
Tranio
Old man, your love’s frozen.
Gremio
And yours is fried. Stand back, boy. It’s age that nourishes.
Tranio
But youth, in ladies’ eyes, is what flourishes.
Baptista
All right, gentlemen. I’ll settle this fight. Only your deeds and property can win you the prize. Whoever can assure my daughter the most wealth will have her love. What can you offer her, Signor Gremio?
Gremio
First of all, as you know, my house in the city is richly decorated with silver and gold, basins and jugs to wash her dainty hands, lavishly dyed Tyrian tapestries, ivory boxes filled with coins, cypress chests full of quilted blankets. I can offer Expensive clothing, curtains, and canopies, fine linens, and Turkish cushions embroidered with pearls. I’ve got drapes decorated with golden threads, pewter and brass, and everything needed for a house or housekeeping. And at my farm, I have a hundred dairy cows, six score fat oxen in my stables, and everything else in equal proportions. I’m getting on in years, I must confess. If I die tomorrow, all this will be hers. That is, if she’ll be mine and mine only while I still live.
Tranio
Only? That’s fitting. Listen to me, sir: I’m my father’s heir and his only son. If I may marry your daughter, I’ll leave her with three or four houses in Pisa, just as good as what old Gremio has in Padua. In addition, every year she’ll earn two thousand ducats’ from my fruitful land. All that will be in her estate. What, have I discouraged you, Signor Gremio?
Gremio
Two thousand ducats every year from land! [Aside] All my land isn’t worth that much. [Aloud] Yes, she’ll have that, and my merchant ship that’s now anchored outside Marseilles. [To Tranio] What, are you speechless at hearing the words “merchant ship”?
Tranio
Gremio, you know my father has no less than three of those. Besides that, he has two large galley ships and twelve small ones. She’ll inherit these — and twice as much as whatever you offer next.
Gremio
Well, I’ve offered everything I have. And everything I have is all I can give her. [To Baptista] If you like me, she can have me and all I own.
Tranio
In that case, she’s mine and no-one else’s — according to your promise. Gremio’s been out-bet.
Baptista
I must confess, your offer is better, Tranio. If your father guarantees it, she’s all yours. Otherwise, pardon me, but what will happen to her estate if you die before your father does?
Tranio
Oh, nonsense. He’s old, and I’m young.
Gremio
Don’t young men die, too?
Baptista
Well, gentlemen, here’s my decision. Next Sunday, as you know, my daughter Katherina is getting married. On the following Sunday, if you get your father’s promise, Bianca will marry you, Tranio. Otherwise, she’ll marry Signor Gremio. I’m leaving, thank you both.
Gremio
Farewell, good neighbor.
[To Tranio] As for you, you childish gambler, now I’m not afraid of you. Your father would be a fool to leave you everything. He would have to depend on you in his old age. A ridiculous idea! An old Italian fox like that won’t be so kind, my boy.
Tranio
Curse you, you sneaky, withered old man. But I still have tricks up my sleeve. I intend to fulfill my promise to my master. I see no reason why fake Lucentio shouldn’t create his own father, a fake Vincentio. That’s strange: fathers usually create their children. But in this case, a child will create his parent — that is, if I succeed.