Sofia: Hello, everyone. And welcome to Italy. We're fortunate to have in the studio today a couple of young Italian men on a trip to Padua. Lucentio, am I saying that right? 

Lucentio: That was perfect. 

Sofia: And his servant Tranio. Tranio? 

Tranio: Exactly right. Thanks for having us. 

Sofia: And thanks for taking the time. I know you're not in Padua to spend time talking to me. And I know something very important has just happened which we'll get to in a second. But why don't you share with our audience what it is that has brought you to Padua in the first place? 

Lucentio: I'd be happy to, Sofia. I mean, part of it is obvious. Your audience must know that Padua is a center of learning for all of Italy. So young men such as ourselves who want to study philosophy and do some really deep thinking about life come to Padua. 

Sofia: Oh, sure. Young people do that sort of thing all the time where I'm from, go off to university to study. 

Lucentio: Exactly. And Padua has one of the oldest universities in Europe. And so it's one of the best places for us to go to develop our virtue. I'm from a very wealthy family, after all, son of Vicentio of Pisa. Folks in your audience may have heard of him. So I'm pretty set when it comes to my financial future. But I need to study philosophy to develop my character. 

Sofia: Oh, that's right, to deck your fortune with virtuous deeds, as you put it. 

Lucentio: Oh, yes. Very well put. 

Sofia: Well, you said it. 

Lucentio: Well, so I assume that's why young men go to university where you're from, to study the nature of life and to develop their virtue? 

Sofia: Well, not exactly. I mean, they mostly go because they think they can get a better job if they do. 

Lucentio: Oh, I see, so more like a school for tradesmen? 

Sofia: Yeah, I suppose. 

Lucentio: So where do these young men go to learn how to become more virtuous? 

Sofia: Oh, I don't know. I guess they're kind of on their own for that. And it's not just men, by the way. Women go to university too. 

Lucentio: Women, to university? OK. Well, I guess the world is full of different customs. But here in Italy, we know that men must study philosophy, because happiness is best achieved through virtuous living. And to know virtue, you need philosophy. So here we are, Lucentio, son of Vicentio, with my trusty servant Tranio, leaving a shallow plash to plunge ourselves in the deep. 

Sofia: So you, Tranio, Lucentio referred to you as his servant. 

Tranio: That's right. 

Sofia: Could you tell us more of what that means exactly? 

Lucentio: You don't have servants where you come from? 

Sofia: No, not exactly. I mean, people with lots of money pay people with not as much money to do things for them. But I think it's not as involved as what's going on with you two. 

Tranio: Oh, no, that doesn't sound the same at all. I mean, it is my job to do, to the best of my ability, whatever's asked of me. And I do get paid. And I'm otherwise well taken care of. But I'm practically part of the family. I mean-- and this isn't always the case with servants-- but I've lived in Lucentio's household since I was a little boy. 

Sofia: Oh, wow. So you really are part of the family. And so are you here to study too, or are you here mostly to help him out, do things that need doing? 

Tranio: Well, I'd probably pick up some philosophy along the way. But this is mostly for him. But-- and forgive me, Lucentio, for going into this again-- I was originally as excited as he was about this whole pursuit of virtue thing. 

Sofia: Oh, right. As you put it, glad about his resolve to suck the sweet of sweet philosophy. 

Tranio: Exactly. 

Lucentio: Good one, suck the sweet of sweet philosophy. 

Tranio: It's just that we don't have to be stoics about it. 

Sofia: Stoics? 

Tranio: It doesn't have to be all serious, you know? Why have your head in some dusty old books of philosophy when you can practice logic with anyone you meet or develop your rhetoric every time you talk, use music and poetry to lift your spirits? And when it comes to math and metaphysics, use them when you're in the mood for them, you know. Don't force yourself to spend time on them. 

Sofia: Sounds like you're really trying to give him some good advice, as a friend would. 

Tranio: Of course. The best servant is also a friend. 

Sofia: And I like how you sum it up for him. Would you mind? 

Tranio: No, not at all. “No profit grows where is no pleasure taken. In brief, sir, study what you most affect.” 

Sofia: And most affect? 

Tranio: You know, what you like the most or enjoy the best. 

Sofia: Right. Where I'm from, people say, follow your bliss. 

Tranio: Follow your bliss, I like that. 

Lucentio: It's good advice, Tranio. I'm glad to have you with me. 

Sofia: That reminds me, my notes say you have another servant with you, a Biondello? 

Lucentio: Yes, that's right, though not quite Tranio's caliber, you might say. A good guy, don't get me wrong. But he's better with some of the menial work. And he really should be here by now. 

Sofia: Oh, that's right. You two were waiting for him when this thing happened that I mentioned before. 

Lucentio: Oh, right, that thing. 

Tranio: And here we go again. 

Sofia: So what happened exactly? 

Tranio: Well, there we were, discussing the value of sweet philosophy, waiting for Biondello to catch up when there were suddenly a bunch of people in the street. I thought at first they were coming out to welcome us. 

Sofia: So what were they doing? 

Tranio: Well, it was a little bit heated. From what we could tell, there was this guy, a local nobleman who has two daughters ready to be married. And there were a couple of suitors trying to woo the younger one, Bianca. But the father won't let anyone woo the younger daughter until the older one is married off. Her name was Katherina, I think. Oof. 

Sofia: What? What does that mean? Is there something wrong with her? 

Tranio: Stark mad from what I could tell or if not mad, just incredibly froward. 

Sofia: Froward? 

Tranio: Yeah, froward. 

Sofia: Froward? Oh, you mean, forward? 

Tranio: I mean froward. You know, just incredibly disagreeable. I mean, really, really disagreeable, hard to please, difficult to deal with, refractory, ungovernable. 

Sofia: OK, I get the idea. We just don't really use that word where I'm from. 

Tranio: It's the opposite of toward, actually, at least as we use it, which is, you know, someone who is obliging, compliant, willing to do what's asked of them. 

Sofia: Then it sounds like this Katherina might be a bit of a rebel. 

Tranio: That's putting it mildly. Devil is what the suitors were calling her. 

Lucentio: But in the others' silence, do I see maid's mild behavior and sobriety. 

Sofia: He's talking about Bianca, the younger daughter? 

Tranio: Yeah. 

Sofia: Oh, I get it. Bianca is the good daughter, stays quiet and does what she's told? 

Tranio: Well, she's a looker too, if you know what I mean. I think that's why this happened. 

Sofia: Yeah, maybe. But I have to wonder. I mean, if this Bianca were acting as froward as the other, this might not have happened. 

Lucentio: Hark, Tranio, thou mayest hear Minerva speak. 

Tranio: Oh, that's right. Bianca did speak, a few sentences anyway. She said to her father that she was willing to do as she was told and that she'd be happy to study her Latin and practice music until it's time for her to be married. And as you already know, he's a sucker for that sort of thing, aren't you? 

Lucentio: I'm sorry. What did you say? 

Tranio: Is it really possible for love to take hold this fast? 

Lucentio: I certainly didn't think it was possible until I experienced it for myself. I mean, all I did was stand there and look at her. And love just hit me. 

Sofia: Hit you pretty hard, huh? 

Lucentio: I burn. I pine. I perish, Tranio, if I achieve not this young, modest girl. 

Sofia: Sounds like modesty is definitely a part of the attraction. 

Lucentio: What am I going to do, Tranio? You have to help me. 

Sofia: I guess that's what friends are for. 

Tranio: Well, I could just tell you to stop loving her. But I guess that's not how the heart works. 

Sofia: No, it doesn't. 

Tranio: So let's remember what your grammar books taught us. 'Redime te captam quam queas minimo.' 

Sofia: Yeah, I don't think we used that grammar book. What does that mean? 

Tranio: If you find yourself taken prisoner, free yourself at the lowest possible price. 

Lucentio: It's good advice, Tranio. 

Sofia: It is? But what does that mean? Does that mean you're going to try and court her? 

Lucentio: Keep going, Tranio. 

Tranio: Well, you were so transfixed by Bianca that I don't think you see what the problem is here. 

Lucentio: But I saw how beautiful she is. 

Tranio: Is that all you saw? Didn't you see how her sister was scolding everyone and raising up such a storm that we practically had to plug our ears? 

Lucentio: Tranio, I saw her coral lips to move. And with her breath, she did perfume the air. Sacred and sweet was all I saw in her. 

Sofia: Breath like perfume? Weren't you two watching from a distance? I think he's gone a little loopy. 

Tranio: I think it's time for an intervention. Dude, snap out of it. If you love her, then you need to put your energy into a plan for winning her hand. Here's the deal. Her sister is so cursed and shrewd that the father is going to keep Bianca locked in the house until the older one, the cursed one, is married off. No suitors get to see Bianca until the older one is married, father's orders. 

Lucentio: What a cruel father is he. But I remember now. And he's going to keep her inside with just her schoolmasters to instruct her. Well, I guess we're pretty stuck, then. 

Tranio: Yeah, I guess that pretty much puts an end to that. 

Sofia: Hmm. Well, except, you know-- 

Lucentio: What? Know what? 

Sofia: You know, only schoolmasters can get in to see her. 

Tranio: Yeah, that's what we just said. 

Sofia: I know. So the father's probably going to be looking for some tutors to-- 

Lucentio: Tutor her. We know what tutoring means. 

Sofia: Seriously? 

Tranio and Lucentio: I've got it! 

Tranio: I bet we're both thinking the same thing. 

Lucentio: You go first. 

Tranio: You could be a tutor, you know, be a schoolmaster for Bianca. That could be the plan. 

Sofia: Why didn't I think of that? 

Lucentio: You're right. That's how I could get in to see her, pretend to be a tutor. Could that really work? 

Tranio: No. 

Sofia: It couldn't? 

Tranio: Of course not, because then who would be Lucentio? Everybody knows that Vicentio's son is coming to Padua. So who would run the household, study at the university, host parties while he's busy tutoring Bianca? No, it's not possible. 

Sofia: Yeah, too bad there isn't somebody else around who could play that part, the Lucentio part. You know, if only there were someone who knew him well, what he's like, would know how to play the part. 

Lucentio: Wait a second. I have it. Nobody in Padua has even seen us yet. From our faces, you couldn't tell who was the master and who was the servant. Why don't you be the master? You be Lucentio. You can keep the house and supervise the servants and make the rounds in high society. I'll be some random guy passing through Padua, some schoolmaster passing through Padua. Perfect, Tranio, uncase thee. 

Sofia: Whoa, whoa, whoa, uncase thee? 

Lucentio: You know, get undressed. We need to swap clothes. 

Sofia: Just slow down a second. Don't worry, we're almost done. And then you can swap all the clothes you want. And you're OK with this plan? 

Tranio: Yeah, I guess it feels a little weird. But I do pride myself on obedience. And Lucentio's father said, be serviceable to my son. I don't think this is what he meant exactly, but I'm content to be Lucentio, because so well I love Lucentio. 

Lucentio: Tranio, be so, because Lucentio loves. And let me be a slave to achieve that maid whose sudden side hath enthralled my wounded eye. 

Sofia: Oh, that was like a little poem. Wounded eye? 

Tranio: You know? Pew! Cupid's arrow. 

Sofia: Oh, I got it. And what about Biondello? Does the other servant need to know the plan? 

Lucentio: Oh, good point. Let's see. We'll just tell him-- I know, we'll tell him that even though we just arrived in Padua, I got into an argument with somebody and killed them. 

Sofia: What, you're going to tell Biondello that you killed somebody? 

Lucentio: Sure. But he's only going to pay attention if it's something dramatic. He's a little slow. If he thinks my life depends on it, he'll be able to pretend that Tranio is me. And he won't question things while I go missing for a while. 

Sofia: If you say so. 

Lucentio: One more thing, Tranio, that I need you to do on your own. I want you to present yourself as one of Bianca's suitors. Go mix in with the other wooers. I have good reasons for this, but I'll have to explain later. We should get changed. 

Sofia: Don't let me stop you. Just look right out here for a second.