RALPH: Welcome back. It's the final interview of our show. The story of The Tragedy of Julius Caesar is over. But I thought it would be fun to check in one last time with the citizens of Rome to see how they're doing. Thanks for joining us, everyone. 

PLEBEIAN 5: Thanks for having us, Ralph. 

PLEBEIAN 6: Hey. 

PLEBEIAN 3: No problem. 

PLEBEIAN 6: Thank you. 

PLEBEIAN 5: Good to be here. 

RALPH: So there's quite a different mood in Rome now. The conspirators and their armies are defeated. And Brutus and Cassius are dead. 

PLEBEIAN 1: All true. All great. 

PLEBEIAN 6: Yep, yep. 

RALPH: So you all must be feeling pretty good about this. The dangerous conflict is over. Stability has returned to Rome. And you have new leadership. 

PLEBEIAN 5: Octavius, Lepidus, Antony. 

PLEBEIANS: [CHANTING] Octavius, Lepidus, Antony, Octavius. Octavius. Lepidus. 

PLEBEIAN 5: You know, it's really just not as catchy with three names. 

RALPH: I can see that—advantage, dictator. 

PLEBEIAN 5: Yeah, and three names don't fit as well on the buttons either. But don't worry. They're coming. I put an order in. 

PLEBEIAN 6: Hey, I want two. 

RALPH: Well, yes, and that's exactly what I most wanted to talk to you about during this final session. So, you know, when I was talking to Brutus and Cassius during the early phases of the conspiracy, just when it was getting started, Brutus seemed to be legitimately concerned about there being too much power in one person's hands. That was the real issue. He seemed to be wanting what was best for Rome. And it seemed to me that his concern was more about the form of the government instead of just about Caesar himself. 

PLEBEIAN 2: Wait, so you were talking to Brutus and Cassius when they were planning on killing Caesar? 

RALPH: That's right. I had an insider's look at the unfolding of one of the most famous political assassinations of all history. 

PLEBEIAN 3: And you didn't try to stop them? 

RALPH: Oh, no, of course not—non-interference policy. 

PLEBEIAN 1: Oh, a non-interference policy. 

PLEBEIAN 6: What are you talking about? 

PLEBEIAN 3: Wow, I can't believe that. 

PLEBEIAN 5: So you could have saved Caesar, and you chose not to? 

RALPH: Yeah, let me remind you that the point of this interview is for me to ask you questions. And I just want to know if you—any of you—care about how power is shared, if you care about any of the things that Brutus cared about. You used to admire him, after all. Or do you just care about the personality and the reputation of the people or the person who's in charge? 

PLEBEIAN 4: I'll tell you what we care about. We care about the fact that you knew something was going on. And you didn't do anything about it. 

PLEBEIAN 5: Hey, where are you from, huh? 

PLEBEIAN 1: Yeah. Are you married? Or are you single? 

RALPH: No, is this happening? I see where this is headed, and that's not going to happen here. Look, I'm just the interviewer, right? I'm just—I'm supposed to ask the questions. And I don't get involved. That's not my—what are you guys doing? What's happening? 

PLEBEIAN 1: You look like my least favorite cousin. 

RALPH: Sit back down. What? 

PLEBEIAN 5: Where do you live, huh? 

RALPH: What are you guys doing? 

PLEBEIAN 6: What's your name? 

PLEBEIAN 3: Will you go out with me? 

RALPH: [SIGHS] Join us again next time, if there is a next time. 

PLEBEIANS: Get him!