RALPH: Welcome back, everybody. As you know, Caesar is dead. 

CASSIUS: Yes, that's been well-established. The question is how is everyone reacting? You promised we'd get to that. 

BRUTUS: Tell everyone there's no need to be afraid, there's no need to panic. Ambition's debt is paid. 

RALPH: Ambitions debt is paid. You mean Caesar had what was coming to him, that he was too ambitious? 

BRUTUS: Yes. They should all know that. 

RALPH: Well, Casca urges you to go to the pulpit and address everyone. And Decius thinks that you should come along, too, Cassius. 

BRUTUS: Where's Publius? 

RALPH: Publius, let's see here. Oh yes, he's there, too. Cinna says Publius is utterly confused about what's just happened, but I thought he was one of you guys? 

BRUTUS: Publius needs to relax. Okay, we're not going to hurt him or any other Romans. Publius needs to just calm everyone down and assure them that we're not going to harm anyone. 

CASSIUS: And he shouldn't be here, anyway. He's kind of old and he might get hurt if Caesar supporters start to retaliate. 

BRUTUS: Yes, he should go. Only the people who did this should suffer the consequences. 

RALPH: Well, then everybody leaves except those of you involved in the conspiracy. And then Trebonius comes in. He's the one that took Antony away just before the assassination. 

CASSIUS: Where is Antony? 

RALPH: Well, Trebonius says that Antony fled to his house, just dumbfounded. And he says that men, wives, and children stare, cry out, and run as if it were doomsday. Wow, doomsday. Is it possible that people really think that the world is going to end just because you killed Caesar? 

CASSIUS: Well, if you thought Caesar was a god, what would you think? It's not every day that a god dies. 

RALPH: I see your point. I'm just starting to realize what you must have known all along, this is just getting started. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you don't know how people are going to react, whether it's other members of the government or the Roman people. It seems like they really loved Caesar. Yikes. 

BRUTUS: Fates, we will know your pleasures. 

RALPH: You're willing to accept whatever fate brings? 

BRUTUS: That we shall die, we know, 'tis but the time. And drawing days out, that men stand upon. 

RALPH: Well, yes. We all know that we're going to die, but that doesn't make facing death any easier. 

CASSIUS: Why? He that cuts off 20 years of life, cuts off so many years of fearing death. 

RALPH: Well, OK. Yeah, I guess that's true. You don't have to fear death if you're already dead. 

BRUTUS: Right, so in that sense, death is a favor, which is what friends do. So we've abridged his time of fearing death. 

RALPH: Well, when you put it that way, I guess you're right. 

BRUTUS: Come on. Let us bathe our hands in Caesar's blood. Up to the elbows, and besmear our swords. 

RALPH: I'm sorry you're going to do what? 

BRUTUS: Bathe our hands in Caesar's blood. Join us, Ralph. 

RALPH: Oh. Well, no. I should not. I just got this dry cleaned. Thanks, but no. 

CASSIUS: You're right, Brutus. We should stoop and wash our hands in Caesar's blood. 

RALPH: So, what is all this about exactly? It's a little confusing. It's almost like some kind of ritual or something from a religious ceremony. Is this blood-bathing some aspect of Roman religion? I mean, because it's all so pretty gruesome. I mean, aren't you going to look even more bloodthirsty to everyone else if you do this? And another thing, it doesn't really seem like something that you would do, Brutus. I mean, from what I know of you. We haven't known each other that long, but—And another thing, I mean, boy the reasons just keep coming. Do you really want to dip your hands in Caesar's blood when it seems like there's all this supernatural stuff going on? I mean, aren't you worried that'll make for some bad juju? 

CASSIUS: How many ages hence shall this, our lofty scene, be acted over in states unborn and accents yet unknown. 

RALPH: That line right there, I mean, that's just crazy. Are you imagining that someday people are going to act out the killing of Caesar, like in a play or something? 

CASSIUS: Of course. This day of triumph over tyranny will be played over and over again in countries that haven't been created yet and languages that haven't been discovered. 

RALPH: You mean like Great Britain or the United States of America? 

BRUTUS: Never heard of them. So yes, I guess just like that. And each time Caesar will bleed for the entertainment of an audience. This guy, who now lies on the base of Pompey's statue, no worthier than the dust. 

RALPH: Wow, well, who knows. Maybe that's what's happening right now. 

BRUTUS: You lost me. 

CASSIUS: Anyway, we should get going and you should lead the way, Brutus. 

RALPH: Right. And as you're about to leave, a servant from Mark Antony's house arrives. 

BRUTUS: From Mark Antony's? 

RALPH: Yes. And he kneels before you. In fact, he tells you that Mark Antony told him to kneel before you, and he told him to say this, "Brutus is noble, wise, valiant, and honest. Caesar was mighty, bold, royal, and loving. Say, 'I love Brutus and I honor him.' Say, 'I feared Caesar, honored him, and loved him.' If Brutus will vouchsafe that Antony may safely come to him and be resolved how Caesar hath deserved to lie in death, Mark Antony shall not love Caesar dead so well as Brutus living, but will follow the fortunes and affairs of noble Brutus through the hazards of this untrod state with all true faith." Wow, sounds like a peace offering to me. Sounds like this might go more smoothly than even you'd hoped. He just wants to know why you did it and if you can tell him why Caesar had to die, he'll love a living Brutus more than a dead Caesar. 

BRUTUS: Antony is a wise and valiant Roman. I've never thought him worse. The servant should tell him that he can come here and I'll explain to him why we've done this and then he can leave. I promise I won't hurt him. 

RALPH: Yes. Well, then the servant runs to go get Antony. 

BRUTUS: He will soon be our friend. 

CASSIUS: I hope so. I don't know, I still have this nagging feeling that he could be dangerous. 

RALPH: Well, and then Antony walks in. 

BRUTUS: We welcome him. Welcome, Mark Antony. 

CASSIUS: How's he reacting? 

RALPH: Well, he notices Caesar's body on the ground. It's kind of hard not to notice it. He's crumpled up on the ground, the great man, the blood-soaked toga, stab wounds all over his body—

CASSIUS: What does he say? How is he reacting? 

RALPH: Well, like I said he's reacting to the body. And he says, "Oh, mighty Caesar, Dost thou lie so low? Are all thy conquests, glories, triumphs, spoils, shrunk to this little measure? Fare thee well." You know, it kind of reminds me that Caesar accomplished so much when he was alive. 

CASSIUS: Ralph, please. We need to know how he's reacting? 

RALPH: Oh yes, of course. So he says to the two of you that he doesn't know what you have in mind next. "Who else must be let blood?" he says. And if you intend to kill him, he thinks that there would be no better time than at the hour of Caesar's death. Wow, so he's basically saying to kill him now if you're going to kill him at all. He says that it would be an honor to be stabbed by your swords now that they're covered with, as he puts it, the most noble blood of all this world. I really think he means it. He goes on, "I do beseech ye if ye bear me hard. Now, whilst your purpled hands do reek and smoke, fulfill your pleasure. Live 1,000 years, I shall not find myself so apt to die. No place will please me so, no mean of death, as here by Caesar, and by you cut off. The choice and master spirits of this age." Powerful stuff. 

BRUTUS: Well, he should stop. We should tell him that even though this looks bloody and cruel, he only sees our hands, not our hearts. Our hearts are full of pity. As fire drives out fire, so pity pity. 

RALPH: Yes, and what do you mean by that exactly? 

BRUTUS: We pity Caesar, but we pity Rome more. And our pity for Rome drives out our pity for Caesar. We have no malice toward Mark Antony. We welcome him in with all kind, good, love, thoughts, and reverence. 

CASSIUS: And he should know that he'll have as much say as any man in the forming of new government. 

BRUTUS: Only he should be patient. The people of Rome are freaking out and we need to calm them down as our first order of business. And then I can explain to him why we've done this. 

CASSIUS: So, is it working? 

RALPH: It seems to be. Antony immediately offers to shake your bloody hands, with all of you. He says that he can't imagine what you must be thinking of him, because given the situation, you must think that he's either a coward for not coming to Caesar's defense or a flatterer, for sucking up for you guys to save his life. Then he turns to the body again. It's kind of hard to ignore that body, I guess. He says, "That I did love thee, Caesar, oh 'tis true. If then my spirit look upon us now, shall it not grieve thee dearer than thy death to see thy Antony making his peace, shaking the bloody fingers of thy foes most noble in the presence of thy corpse?" So that's interesting. "If then my spirit look upon us now." Do you guys believe in spirits? I mean, is there some sense in which you think Caesar is still around? 

CASSIUS: Ralph, can we please just keep this moving? Analyze this some other time. 

RALPH: Of course, I'm sorry. He's almost done, although, he says some pretty powerful things, again, looking at Caesar's body. "Had I as many eyes as thou hast wounds weeping as fast as they streamed forth thy blood, it would become me better than to close in terms of friendship with thine enemies. Pardon me, Julius." Boy, he's upset. 

CASSIUS: Yeah, well, he needs to calm down a little and we need to cut to the chase. Now, can we count on him as a friend or shall we not depend on him? 

RALPH: Well, he says that's why he shook your hands, to be friends. But then, Caesar's body is just so upsetting when you look at it. But he confirms that he wants to be your friends and that he loves you, all of you. Though it would be a lot easier if you were able to explain to him why you thought Caesar was so dangerous that you needed to kill him. 

BRUTUS: Look, if we didn't have good reason, this would've all just been a bloody display. 

RALPH: A savage spectacle, you call it, which, funny enough, was the name of my punk band in junior high. It was a reference to the play. Sorry, never mind. 

BRUTUS: Once I get the chance to explain it to him, he'll understand. Even Caesar's own son would understand if he knew the reason. 

RALPH: Well, that's all Antony says he wants. Oh, and he wants one other thing. He'd like to bring Caesar's body to the marketplace and, like a friend, offer a speech to the Roman people, like funeral speech. 

BRUTUS: Sure, no problem. 

CASSIUS: Are you kidding me? If you let him talk, he could easily turn the people against us. 

BRUTUS: Relax, I have a plan. I'll make my speech first, where I explain to the people why we did what we did. And then I'll let Antony speak and make sure to tell the people that he's speaking because we allow him to. It'll be reassuring to the people that Caesar's funeral is handled properly. 

RALPH: All true rites and lawful ceremonies, you say. 

BRUTUS: People will see that we're doing the right thing. 

RALPH: Sounds like there's a lot riding on this. You know, where I'm from we call this public relations. 

CASSIUS: Well, I don't like it, letting him speak. Who knows what will happen? 

BRUTUS: No, we should allow him to take the body to the marketplace, but he can't blame us in his speech. OK, he can talk about how good Caesar is, but he has to say that he's only speaking because we've allowed him to. He can talk after I make my speech. 

RALPH: He says that's all he's asking for. 

BRUTUS: Good? Done. All right? He can prepare the body and follow us to the marketplace. 

RALPH: Good luck with this gentlemen. 

CASSIUS: Good luck with our public relations, you mean? 

RALPH: Exactly. Good luck with your public relations.