SERVILIA: Welcome back to the show. Sorry to bring you out here in your PJs. 

[THUNDER CRASHING] 

SERVILIA: Oh, boy. That's a troubling sound. 

CAESAR: Nor heaven nor earth have been at peace tonight. 

SERVILIA: I heard it's been crazy out there. 

CAESAR: And Calpurnia has cried out in her sleep three times, "help ho, they murder Caesar!" 

SERVILIA: Yikes. The poor thing. But that must make you feel uncomfortable, too. 

CAESAR: Well, I've asked the priests to do a sacrifice and give me their predictions for a success today. 

SERVILIA: The whole sheep liver thing. The augers, you call them? 

CAESAR: Exactly. 

SERVILIA: You put a lot of faith in that stuff. 

CAESAR: It's just one piece of information. 

CALPURNIA: Don't tell me you're even thinking of going out today. You're staying home. 

CAESAR: Caesar shall forth. The things that threaten me ne'er looked but on my back. When they shall see the face of Caesar, they are vanished. 

SERVILIA: So even if there's danger in the day ahead, a look from you will turn it away? 

CAESAR: That's what I just said. 

CALPURNIA: Caesar, I've never been superstitious, but I'm starting to freak out a little bit. We've already seen some pretty weird things ourselves, but the guards have reported seeing even stranger things. A lioness in the streets giving birth to cubs? Graves opening up and spitting out dead people? Fierce, fiery warriors fighting on the clouds, which drizzled blood upon the capital, ghosts shrieking in the streets? These things are not normal. 

CAESAR: What can be avoided whose end is purpose by the mighty gods? 

SERVILIA: No sense trying to control fate, you mean. If the gods want something to happen, it'll happen. 

CAESAR: And yet Caesar shall go forth, for these predictions are to the world in general as to Caesar. 

SERVILIA: Predictions are to the world in general as to Caesar. Oh, I see. All this weird stuff might not be about you, it may be that things are going to get bad for everyone. 

CALPURNIA: When beggars die, there are no comets seen. The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes. 

SERVILIA: Well, that's a good point, too, I suppose. You are the great Caesar. If there's a fuss in heaven, I'm sure it's about you and not about Joe Plumber. 

CAESAR: Cowards die many times before their deaths. The valiant never taste of death but once. 

SERVILIA: Well, that's a high standard, isn't it? Just because you're afraid to go out for the day doesn't mean that you've died a death. 

CAESAR: Who said I'm afraid? Of all the wonders that I yet have heard, it seems to me most strange that men should fear seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come. 

SERVILIA: We've all got to die, it's true. But maybe a touch of fear can keep you around a little longer than you might have stayed otherwise. 

CAESAR: Why haven't we heard from the priests yet? 

SERVILIA: Oh, yes, a servant returns with news. Let's see, he says they would not have you to stir forth today. Plucking the entrails of an offering forth, they could not find a heart within the beast. Okay, now that is a little freaky. I'm with her. I think you should stay home. Take a good bath, read a good book. 

CAESAR: You don't know how to read the signs, my dear. 

SERVILIA: But that sheep or beast, it didn't have a heart. 

CAESAR: Yes. So a warning from the gods that I shouldn't act like a coward. I would be a beast without a heart if I stayed at home today out of fear. No. Caesar shall not. Danger knows full well that Caesar is more dangerous than he. We are two lions littered in one day, I the elder and more terrible. And yet Caesar shall go forth. 

CALPURNIA: My lord, please. You're too sure of yourself. There's no room for wisdom if you think it's impossible to be in danger. Do not go out today. Blame it on me. Say it's because I'm afraid. We'll send Mark Anthony to the Senate house, and he'll tell them that you're not feeling well. Please. I'm begging you. 

CAESAR: Okay. Mark Anthony will tell them I'm not feeling well. 

SERVILIA: Wow. Really? Just like that? But you were just all "I'm more dangerous than danger." 

CAESAR: For my wife's sake, I'll stay home. 

SERVILIA: Boy. Nice work. I didn't think you were going to win that argument. 

CALPURNIA: Thank you, my dear. 

SERVILIA: Well, I wish we could end things right there, but just then, Decius Brutus shows up. 

CAESAR: Oh, good. We'll have him deliver the message. He should tell them I will not come today. To say that I cannot is false, and to say that I won't dare come even falser. He should tell them I will not come. 

CALPURNIA: He should say that he's sick. 

CAESAR: You want me to lie? Have I conquered half the world only to be afraid to tell a bunch of old men the truth? Decius should tell them that Caesar will not come. 

SERVILIA: Well, Decius seems happy to do it, but he wants to give them some reason so they don't laugh at him? 

CAESAR: The cause is in my will. I will not come. That is enough to satisfy the Senate. But for Decius's sake, because I love him, he can know that it's because Calpurnia doesn't want me to go. She had a bad dream. 

SERVILIA: Oh, right. And what was the dream exactly? 

CAESAR: She dreamt that she saw a statue of me with 100 spouts running pure blood, and many smiling Romans gathered around to wash their hands in my blood. She thinks that these are evil omens, and has begged me to stay at home. 

SERVILIA: Sounds like a reasonable interpretation to me. But this Decius guy isn't so sure. We don't need to go into that. 

CAESAR: Wait, what? What does he say? 

SERVILIA: It's just a dream, after all. Who knows what dreams mean? I know I don't. 

CAESAR: Tell me what he says. 

SERVILIA: Okay, I tried. Well, he thinks you're misinterpreting the dream. He thinks it's a good dream, actually. All those smiling Romans bathing in your blood means they're benefiting from all you have to give them, like you're a holy relic reviving Rome. 

CAESAR: That makes a lot of sense, actually. 

SERVILIA: Yes, well, it's just a dream. Decius says he thinks he can prove it. 

CAESAR: How's that? 

SERVILIA: He says the Senate has decided to crown the mighty Caesar today, and if you tell them you've decided not to come to the capital, they might change their minds. But I think the key word here is might. They might change their minds, but maybe they won't. 

CAESAR: Is that all he has to say? 

SERVILIA: There was a little more, but I don't think it's anything. 

CAESAR: Out with it, woman! 

SERVILIA: I think he's just playing on your ego here, but he says he's a little worried that if he's like, "the Senate will have to meet with you some other time when Caesar's wife has better dreams," and then they'd all start whispering, "whoa, is Caesar hiding at home? Is Caesar afraid?" And Decius says he's not trying to be rude or anything, but he's only saying this because he loves you. 

CAESAR: How foolish do your fears seem now, Calpurnia? I am ashamed I did yield to them. I should change my clothes. I'm going to the Senate. 

SERVILIA: Well, just then a whole group of guys show up. There's Publius and Brutus and Casca, Chias Legarias, Metellus, Trebonius, Cinna. 

CAESAR: What time is it? 

SERVILIA: It's about eight in the morning. Oh, and Anthony shows up, too. 

CAESAR: Knowing him, he's probably been out all night. Well, let's all get going then. They should come in and have some wine while I'm getting ready. And then all of us, like friends, will go to the capital together. 

SERVILIA: Like friends? 

CAESAR: Yes, like friends. 

SERVILIA: See, it's a funny thing, language, because do you mean like friends because you really are friends and you're acting as friends do? Or do you mean like friends, but not really friends? Like there's something to hide. See, same word, two different likes? Though I don't think I'm supposed to be telling you that. 

CAESAR: You're a perplexing woman, Servilia. I'm not sure I have time right now for your word games. 

SERVILIA: Yes, of course. Don't let me stop you. 

CAESAR: I won't. 

SERVILIA: Good luck today. Perhaps we'll meet again later.