Hamlet has just hidden Polonius’s body when Rosencrantz and Guildenstern arrive to handle the situation. When they ask Hamlet where he has stashed the body, Hamlet refuses to reveal the location, telling the pair that all their favors for the king will bring them nothing in the end.
Hamlet
Safely stowed away.
Gentlemen
[Offstage] Hamlet, Lord Hamlet!
Hamlet
What’s that noise? Who’s calling me? Oh, there they are.
Rosencrantz
What have you done, my lord, with the dead body?
Hamlet
I’ve mixed it with dust, which is its kin – “dust to dust” and all that.
Rosencrantz
Tell us where it is, so we can take it to the chapel.
Hamlet
Don’t believe it.
Rosencrantz
Believe what?
Hamlet
Don’t believe that I can follow your advice and, at the same time, keep my secret [See note]. Besides, what reply should a prince make when he’s being questioned by a sponge.
Rosencrantz
You think I’m a sponge, my lord?
Hamlet
Yes, sir, that soaks up the king’s favors, rewards, and privileges. But in the end, the King will get more back from you. You’re like a good apple to the King. He takes a bite of it but does not swallow right away. Instead, he keeps it in his mouth, to squeeze whenever he wants something from it.
Rosencrantz
I don’t understand you, my lord.
Hamlet
I’m glad you don’t. A clever speech is never understood by fools.
Rosencrantz
My lord, you must tell us where the body is, and go with us to the king.
Hamlet
The body is with the king, but the king is not with the body. The king is a thing ...
Guildenstern
A thing, my lord?
Hamlet
A thing of nothing. Take me to him. Let’s play hide and seek!
