In Gertrude’s private chambers, Polonius and the queen hear Hamlet approach. Polonius quickly hides behind a curtain, planning to eavesdrop on the conversation between mother and son. When Hamlet enters, he’s in such a rage that Gertrude cries for help. Hearing this, Polonius echoes her cries for help, revealing his hiding place in the process. Hamlet, thinking that Polonius is actually Claudius, stabs blindly through the curtain, killing Polonius on the spot. Instead of feeling any remorse, Hamlet turns on his mother, attacking her for marrying Claudius so soon after her husband’s death. In the middle of his tirade, the ghost makes an appearance to remind Hamlet of his real goal: vengeance. Gertrude, seeing Hamlet talk to a ghost that she herself can’t see, thinks he really has lost his mind. Hamlet threatens his mother and tells her that he knows Claudius is plotting against him, but that the king will get his just desserts in the end.
Polonius
Hamlet is on his way. You must really let him have it. Tell him you’re not putting up with his troublemaking, and that you’ve been protecting him from Claudius’s anger. I’ll be quiet now. For God's sake, be strict with him.
Gertrude
Don’t worry about me, I’ll be strict with him. Hide, I hear him coming.
Hamlet
Now mother, what's the matter?
Gertrude
Hamlet, you have offended your father.
Hamlet
Mother, you have offended my father.
Gertrude
Come now, that’s a silly answer.
Hamlet
Go now, you asked a silly question.
Gertrude
Now, Hamlet.
Hamlet
What's the matter now?
Gertrude
Have you forgotten who I am?
Hamlet
No, of course not. You are the queen, your husband’s brother’s wife, and, though I wish it were not true, you are my mother.
Gertrude
I won’t stand for this; I’ll send for Claudius to speak to you.
Hamlet
Sit down here and don’t budge. You’re not going anywhere until I hold up a mirror for you to see exactly the kind of person you really are.
Gertrude
What are you doing? Are you going to kill me? Help! Help!
Polonius
[Behind the curtain] What ho! Help, help, help!
Hamlet
What’s that, a rat? For two cents I’ll kill it!
Polonius
[Behind the curtain] Oh, I’m murdered!
Gertrude
Oh, what have you done?
Hamlet
I don’t know. Is it the king?
Gertrude
Oh, what a rash and horrible thing you’ve done!
Hamlet
A horrible thing! Almost as bad, dear mother, as to kill a king and marry his brother.
Gertrude
As kill a king?
Hamlet
That’s what I said. [To Polonius' body] You stupid, rash, intruding fool – goodbye. I mistook you for the king. Accept your fate. You’ve discovered that being a busy-body can be dangerous. [To the Queen] Stop wringing your hands. Sit down and let me wring your heart, because I will, if it’s still capable of feeling anything – if your horrible behavior hasn’t gone on so long that it’s been hardened against any sense of tenderness.
Gertrude
What have I done that you dare talk to me in such a loud and rude manner?
Hamlet
Such an act as spoils honor and modesty, makes a hypocrite of virtue, replaces the flowery love of an innocent maiden with the lust of a prostitue, makes marriage vows as false as a gamblers promises – such a deed as destroys the essence of the marriage contract, and turns religious teaching into just a mishmash of words. Heaven’s face blushes with shame, and the whole earth itself, looking as if doomsday is approaching, is sick just thinking about your actions.
Gertrude
Me? What act are you yelling about in such detail?
Hamlet
Look here at these portraits of two brothers. This one has the hair of Hyperion, the sun god; the face of Jove, the king of gods; the stern eye of Mars, the war god; the stance of Mercury, the messenger god, looking as if he had just landed on a mountain top. Every god has contributed to this combination of features, assuring the world that this is a great man. This was your husband. Now, look at what followed him.
Here is your current husband, like a mildewed ear of corn, contaminating his healthy brother. Have you no eyes? How could you descend from this magnificent mountain to subsist on this disgusting marsh land? Have you no eyes? It can’t be love. At your age, sexual desire has declined and is ruled by rational judgment. What judgment would go from this – to this. Some devil must have deceived you in a game of blind-man's bluff. Where’s your shame? If sexual lust can take over control of an old woman, then in a fiery young girl virtue would stand no chance but would melt away like wax. These days, there’s no shame when lust takes charge. Everything’s turned upside down – the frost burns, grey haired women are ablaze with passion, and reason makes excuses for lust.
Gertrude
Oh, Hamlet, say no more! You’ve made me look inside myself, and I see the stains on my soul, which won’t go away.
Hamlet
Living like a prostitute, making love in a greasy bed in a brothel ...
Gertrude
Oh, say no more! Your words are like daggers in my ears. No more, dear Hamlet.
Hamlet
He’s a murderer and a villain, a nobody, not worth one percent of your previous husband, a king of sinners, a thief of the kingdom, who stole the crown and put it in his pocket ...
Gertrude
No more!
Hamlet
A king of clowns ...
[Seeing the Ghost] God help me! What do you want, you noble figure?
Gertrude
[Not seeing the Ghost] My God, he's mad!
Hamlet
Have you come to scold your tardy son, for letting the time pass and his passions wane, instead of carrying out your dreadful command for revenge? Tell me!
Ghost
Don’t forget my command. I’ve come to revive your diminished determination. Look, your mother is bewildered; put her at ease. The most fragile women always imagine the worst. Say something to her, Hamlet.
Hamlet
Is everything all right, mother?
Gertrude
How are you doing? You look where there’s nothing, and you’re having a conversation with the air. A moment ago, your eyes seemed to jump out of their sockets, and like a sleeping soldier that jumps out of bed at the sound of the alarm, your hairs, as if they were alive, stood up straight. My dear son, try to calm the excitement of your disturbed mind. What at you looking at?
Hamlet
I’m looking at him, at him! Look how he glares at me with his pale face. With that look and tone of voice, he could make stones respond. [To the Ghost] Don’t look at me with that pitiful expression. You‘ll ruin my plan to chastise my mother. Instead of berating her, I’ll end up crying.
Gertrude
Who are you speaking to?
Hamlet
You don’t see anything there?
Gertrude
I see everything that’s there, which is nothing.
Hamlet
And you heard nothing?
Gertrude
Nothing but ourselves.
Hamlet
Look there, look how it’s leaving – my father, dressed as he was when he was alive. Look, he’s going out the door.
Gertrude
This is just your imagination. Mental illness can cause hallucinations.
Hamlet
Mental illness! My pulse beats normally, just like yours. I haven’t been saying crazy things. Go ahead, test me. Say anything, and I’ll repeat back your exact words – a madman couldn’t do that. Mother, for love of God, don’t try and ease your conscience by thinking that it’s my state of mind, and not your moral transgressions, which is the issue. That would be like putting a band aid over a dirty cut, letting it infect everything underneath.
Confess your sins, repent for what you’ve done, and stop this immoral behavior. Don’t make things worse than they already are. Excuse my lecturing. In these morally lax times, Virtue herself must say to Vice, “I beg your pardon," even bowing down and asking Vice’s permission before she does something good for him.
Gertrude
Oh, Hamlet, you’ve broken my heart in half.
Hamlet
Well, throw away the bad part, and go on living with the good half. Good night. Don’t go to Claudius’s room tonight. Pretend to be virtuous, even if you’re not. Not sleeping with him tonight will make it easier the next time. Once again, good night. When you have repented, and are ready for God’s blessing, I’ll pray for you.
[Pointing to Polonius’s body] As for this lord, I repent for what I’ve done. But, heaven has decided to punish me with him – and him with me, by having me act as its scourge. I’ll hide the body, but I’ll have to answer for his death. Once again, goodnight, mother. I’m only being hard on you in order to help you. Things have started out bad, and they’re going to get worse.
Gertrude
What should I do?
Hamlet
Well, here’s what you shouldn’t do. Don’t let Claudius tempt you into his bed by stroking your face and calling you sweet names. Don’t let him kiss and caress your neck, to get out of you that I’m not actually mad, only pretending to be. On the other hand, you could tell Claudius everything. It would take a just, wise, and mature queen to keep such important secrets from this toad, this bat, this monkey.
You could ignore all common sense and act like the ape in the children’s story. He took a bird cage onto the roof and opened it. When he saw the birds fly away, he decided to mimic them. He got in the cage and leaped out. So, mother, let the cat out of the bag, and you, also, will end up with a broken neck.
Gertrude
You can rest assured, as long as words are formed from breath, and breath comes from life, I will not breathe a word of this to Claudius.
Hamlet
You know that I have to go to England?
Gertrude
I had forgotten. Claudius has decided on it.
Hamlet
[Indicating Polonius’s body] Because of this man, I’m being packed off to England. I’ll haul his guts into the other room. Goodnight, Mother. Polonius looks like an important advisor now – very quiet and serious – but, when he was alive, he was a babbling fool. [As he drags the body] Come, my lord, I’ll “draw” toward an end with you. Goodnight, mother.
