Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are having no luck discovering the reason for Hamlet’s madness, so Polonius decides to make good on his plan from Act II, Scene 2. He’ll send Ophelia to talk to the prince, while he and Claudius will watch in secret. When they withdraw, Hamlet enters alone on stage and delivers his famous “To be or not to be” soliloquy. He ponders the nature of death, realizing that while it might seem easier to leave the world behind, death is a great unknown. It’s probably best to just face the troubles you do know, rather than face the uncertainty of the afterlife. Ophelia enters and the two begin a very strained conversation. Hamlet insults her virtue and tells her that, while he may have loved her once, he certainly doesn’t love her now. After Hamlet departs, Claudius and Polonius reenter, newly suspicious that Hamlet’s madness isn’t lovesickness after all. Polonius hatches a new plan: he’ll make sure Hamlet and his mother have some alone time after the play, and he’ll spy on them to see if Gertrude can figure out what’s bothering Hamlet once and for all. If that doesn’t work, they’ll ship him off to England, where his crazy act can do no harm.
Claudius
Can’t you steer the conversation to find out why he’s behaving so crazy, why his normal peaceful state of mind has been replaced with this violent, dangerous lunacy?
Rosencrantz
He confesses that he feels bothered, but he won’t say why.
Guildenstern
He didn’t seem to like being questioned. He cleverly faked madness to avoid revealing what’s really going on.
Gertrude
Was he polite to you?
Rosencrantz
A complete gentleman.
Guildenstern
But he seemed to be forcing himself to be polite.
Rosencrantz
He didn’t ask any questions, but he did respond to all of ours.
Gertrude
Did you try to find out what’s going on by doing something fun with him?
Rosencrantz
Madam, as it so happens, we had came across an acting company on its way here to Elsinore. When we mentioned this to Hamlet, it seemed to cheer him up. They’re here at the court, and I believe they’ve been commanded to put on a play for him tonight.
Polonius
That’s correct. He’s asked me to invite you to the performance.
Claudius
I’m really pleased to hear that he’s behaving in this way. Do what you can to encourage him to have a play performed tonight.
Rosencrantz
We shall, my lord.
Claudius
Sweet Gertrude, please leave us also. I’ve sent a message to Hamlet asking him to come here, where he’s going to run into Ophelia as if by accident. Her father and I – who are justified in spying on him – will hide ourselves where we can watch him, but he won’t be able to see us. We’ll be able to judge, based on his behavior, if it’s his frustrated love for Ophelia that’s causing his madness.
Gertrude
I’ll leave you now. Ophelia, I hope it turns out that Hamlet’s distress is, in fact, due to his love for you, and that your good nature will return him to the way he was.
Ophelia
Madam, I also hope so.
Polonius
Ophelia, you walk over there. [To Claudius] Your Highness, you and I will hide ourselves over here. [To Ophelia] Pretend to be reading this prayer book. That will explain why you’re all alone. We’re so often guilty of this – you see it all the time – pretending to be pious in order to sugarcoat our sinful behavior.
Claudius
[Aside] Oh, that’s so true – it stings my conscience! In the same way as a prostitute covers up her ugliness with make-up, I hide my evil deeds behind pretty words. What a burden this is to carry.
Polonius
I hear Hamlet coming. Let’s get to our hiding spot, my lord.
Hamlet
To live, or not to live: that is the question. Is it more noble to put up with all the difficulties that fate throws our way, or to fight against them, and, in fighting them, put an end to everything? Death is like sleeping, that's all. A kind of sleep that ends the countless heartaches and sufferings that are part of life – now that's something to be desired. To die, to sleep – and during this sleep, maybe we dream.
But that's the problem. In that sleep-like death, when we've finally been released from this painful life, who knows what dreams we'll have? That's enough to make us hesitate, to keep on suffering, and to put up with a horrible existence for so long. Otherwise, who would put up with the slaps and insults we endure over time, the wrongs done to us by the powerful, the arrogance of proud men, the heartaches of rejected love, the bureaucracy in the courts, the rudeness of bureaucrats, and the offenses dished out by unworthy people, that we patiently accept– when we could just settle our account with God by using a dagger on ourselves?
Who would carry these heavy burdens, grunting and sweating under an exhausting life, if it weren't for the fear of something worse in the afterlife, that unknown country from whose border nobody ever returns? This fear bewilders us, and makes us prefer the troubles we know, rather than run off to troubles we don't know. In the end, contemplating the afterlife makes us cowards, and the bright color of our bravery is turned pale by our contemplation. And all our ambitious plans get put on hold while we think about this, and end up never being executed.
But quiet, now! Here's the beautiful Ophelia! Hello, my dear, please remember me in your prayers.
Ophelia
Hello, my lord, how have you been all this time since I’ve seen you last?
Hamlet
I’ve been well, thank you.
Ophelia
My lord, I have presents you gave me that I've been wanting to return to you for a long time. Please, take them.
Hamlet
No, I never gave you anything.
Ophelia
My lord, you know very well that you did, and when you gave them to me you spoke such sweet words, it made them even more precious. But now that your sweetness has disappeared, take them back. To a good person, expensive gifts lose their value when the giver becomes mean. Here, take them.
Hamlet
Ha, ha! Are you honorable?
Ophelia
My lord?
Hamlet
Are you beautiful?
Ophelia
What do you mean?
Hamlet
That if you were honorable and beautiful, then your honor should not associate with your beauty.
Ophelia
What better association can there be than between beauty and honor, my lord?
Hamlet
You’re right, they are in business together. But it’s more likely that your beauty will corrupt your honor, than your honor will restrain your beauty. Once, this seemed absurd, but now all you have to do is look around and you will see that it’s true. I did love you once.
Ophelia
Indeed, my lord, you made me believe it.
Hamlet
You shouldn't have believed me. Our good intentions can't overrule our natural immoral nature. I never loved you.
Ophelia
Then you certainly fooled me.
Hamlet
You should go live in a convent for nuns. Why bring more sinners into the world? I am a reasonably good person, but I could confess to such sins that it would have been better if my mother had never given birth to me. I'm proud, revengeful, ambitious. I've got more evil ideas than I can count, more than I can even imagine, or have time to carry out. Why have more people like me running around? We're all hoodlums; don't believe any of us. Go live in a convent. Where’s your father?
Ophelia
At home, my lord.
Hamlet
Then lock the doors, so he'll only be able to act the fool in his own home. Goodbye!
Ophelia
Oh, God, help Hamlet!
Hamlet
If you get married, I'll give you this curse for a wedding present: no matter how faithful you are, no matter how pure and honorable, you won't escape getting a bad reputation. Go live in a convent, go! Goodbye. And if you really need to get married, marry a fool – smart men know all too well that you'll cheat on them. Off to a convent, go! And hurry! Goodbye.
Ophelia
Oh, God, bring his sanity back!
Hamlet
I know all about women's makeup. God gave you one face, and you make yourselves another. You dance and strut about, fake a sexy lisp, use affectionate nicknames - excusing your flirtations by pretending to be innocent. Leave, I can't stand it any longer; it's driving me crazy. I proclaim that there shall be no more marriages. Those already married – all but one - can go on living together. Everyone else will stay single. Go, to a convent!
Ophelia
Oh, his wonderful mind is gone! He used to have a gentleman’s manners, a scholar’a mind, and a soldier’s might. He was expected to become the best in the land. He set the fashion, and everyone copied his behavior. All eyes were on him. How far down he has sunk! And I – the most depressed and pitiful woman, having tasted the sweetness of his romantic promises – must witness this noble, sharp mind jangling like harsh, out-of-tune bells. I see what was once the unequaled perfection of youth, now ruined by madness. Oh, my heart is breaking – to have known him then, and to see him now!
Claudius
Love? That’s not his problem. What he said, though it was rather rambling, were not the words of a madman. He’s keeping something penned up inside that is causing his distress, and I’m afraid its disclosure would be dangerous. To prevent that from happening, I’ve decided that he should go to England immediately, for the stated purpose of collecting the annual payment which they owe us. Perhaps a sea voyage and a different environment will get rid of this unsettling matter that he’s obsessing over. What do you think?
Polonius
It’s a good plan. But I still believe the cause of his grief stems from Ophelia’s rejection. [Ophelia enters] Hello, Ophelia? You don’t need to tell us what Lord Hamlet said; we heard it all. [To Claudius] My lord, do as you please. But, if you think it’s appropriate, get Hamlet to go see his mother alone after the play. Let her try to discover the source of his grief. Tell her to be very stern with him. I’ll hide where I can overhear the conversation. If she can’t discover what’s going on, send him to England, or confine him wherever you think best.
Claudius
It shall be so. We should keep an eye on Hamlet’s state of mind, because he is powerful.
