2
Ross
Friar John
Hello Franciscan friar! Hello brother!
Friar Laurence
That’s the voice of Friar John. Welcome from Mantua! What did Romeo say? Or if he wrote a letter, show it to me.
Capulet
Invite exactly as many guests as are written down here.
You, boy, go hire me twenty skilled cooks.
Second Servant
You won’t have any bad cooks, sir. I’ll test them to see if they can lick their fingers.
Capulet
How is that test supposed to work?
Juliet
Come on, sun, hurry up and set. I wish some god would whip you forward so the cloudy night would come immediately. Let night wanderers blink and miss us and let Romeo leap into my arms unseen. Lovers can see well enough to make love by the light of beauty, and if they can’t, it won’t matter in the dark of night anyway. If only night would come like a proper widow dressed in black and teach me how to gain something by losing my virginity.
Romeo
Mercutio’s mocking my love and he’s never been in love himself.
Capulet
But Montague is legally bound to keep the peace by the Prince’s edict just as I am. This shouldn’t be difficult for two old guys like us.
Paris
It’s a pity that two men of such distinction as you are have lived in conflict for so long. But now, my lord, what do you think of my request?
Capulet
I’ll just repeat what I said before. My daughter is so young — not yet 14. We should wait at least two more years before she marries.
Hamlet
Enough of that, now you’ll hear the rest of my tale. You remember the predicament in which I found myself.
Horatio
How could I forget, my lord?
Hamlet
Safely stowed away.
Gentlemen
[Offstage] Hamlet, Lord Hamlet!
Hamlet
What’s that noise? Who’s calling me? Oh, there they are.
Rosencrantz
What have you done, my lord, with the dead body?
Hamlet
I’ve mixed it with dust, which is its kin – “dust to dust” and all that.
