Worried about Laertes in France, Polonius sends his servant, Reynaldo, to spy on his son. He wants to know all about what Laertes is up to, and with whom. After Reynaldo leaves, Ophelia enters, shaken by a recent interaction she had with Hamlet. She tells her father that Hamlet was acting totally insane, and he looked the part, too. Polonius thinks that this madness is evidence of Hamlet’s love for his daughter, and he decides to fill Claudius in on his stepson’s behavior.
Polonius
Reynaldo, when you get to Paris, give this money and these letters to Laertes. [He gives some money and papers to Reynaldo.]
Reynaldo
I will, my lord.
Polonius
It would be a good idea if, before you visit my son, you ask around about his behavior.
Reynaldo
My lord, that’s what I intended to do.
Polonius
That’s excellent. First of all, find other Danes who are living in Paris. Find out who they are, what they do, where they live, with whom they hang out, and if they’re wealthy. If, through these ordinary questions, you find out that they know my son, you will learn more about him than if you had asked about him directly. Pretend that you know him only vaguely; say something like, “I know his father and some of his friends, but I hardly know him at all.” Are you getting all of this, Reynaldo?
Reynaldo
Yes, my lord.
Polonius
“...hardly know him at all. But,” you might say, “if we’re talking about the same person, he’s pretty wild, rather excessive, etc.” In this way, you accuse him of misbehavior – not so bad as to dishonor him, mind you – just the sort of unruly and wild behavior typical of young men living on their own for the first time.
Reynaldo
Like gambling, my lord.
Polonius
Right, or drinking, sword play, swearing, quarreling, sleeping around – you may go that far.
Reynaldo
But, my lord, accusing him of sleeping around would dishonor him.
Polonius
Oh, no, it depends on how you say it. Don’t accuse him of seducing upper class girls; that would be scandalous and not what I meant. Just casually mention these faults as if they were the minor indiscretions of youthful independence, some wild times, a lack of discipline – you know, the normal excesses of adolescence.
Reynaldo
But, my lord...
Polonius
Why should you do this?
Reynaldo
Yes, my lord, I would like to know why.
Polonius
Here’s my drift. It’s a scheme which, in this particular situation, I believe is justified. You accuse my son of misdeeds, which seem like minor mistakes made in the normal course of life. Then, if the person with whom you are talking has ever seen him commit any of these offenses, he will open up to you, addressing you as “My good lord,” “friend,” “gentleman,” or whatever is the custom there in Paris.
Reynaldo
Very good, my lord.
Polonius
And then, sir, he’ll continue like this – he’ll continue – what was I about to say? I was about to say something. Where did I stop?
Reynaldo
At “addressing you as friend or gentleman.”
Polonius
Right...addressing you as friend or gentleman. He’ll then say something like, “I know that fellow. I saw him just yesterday, or the other day, with so and so. There he was, gambling, drinking a lot, arguing over a tennis match,” or perhaps he’ll even say, “I saw him entering a house of sale” – that’s a whorehouse. So, Reynaldo, with this little bait of lying, you can catch the fish of truth. That’s how we wise, old men, with roundabout ways and indirect methods, find out what we want to know. And by following my advice, so will you. Have you got all this?
Reynaldo
I have, my Lord.
Polonius
Goodbye and good luck.
Reynaldo
Thank you, my lord.
Polonius
Take part in whatever he’s doing.
Reynaldo
I shall, my lord.
Polonius
And let him do whatever he normally does.
Reynaldo
Yes, my lord.
Polonius
Goodbye.
Why, Ophelia, what's the matter?
Ophelia
Oh, my lord, I was frightened by something terrible.
Polonius
By what, for heaven’s sake?
Ophelia
I was sewing in my room when Lord Hamlet came in, with his shirt unbuttoned, his leggings tangled, missing their garters, and hanging down around his ankles. He was as pale as his shirt, and he looked so pitiful, as if he had come from Hell to describe how horrible it is there.
Polonius
Lovesick for you?
Ophelia
My Lord, I don’t know, but I’m afraid that’s what it means.
Polonius
What did he say?
Ophelia
He grabbed my wrist and held me hard. He kept me out at arm’s length, and, with his hand on his forehead, he stared at my face as if he were going to draw it. He stayed that way for a long time. Finally, shaking my arm a bit, and nodding his head three times, he sighed so piteously and loud that his whole body shook and I thought he was going to die. After that he let me go, and he walked out the door without looking where he was going, while all the time staring back at me.
Polonius
Come with me. Let’s find the king. This is the craziness of love, which has such a violent nature that it destroys itself and causes people to act recklessly, as often as any other emotion that affects our behavior. I’m sorry for you. Have you spoken harshly to Hamlet lately?
Ophelia
No, my lord, but I followed your instructions. I sent back all his letters unopened, and I refused to see him.
Polonius
That has driven him crazy. I wish I had used better judgement, but I was afraid that he was just fooling around and wanted to take advantage of you. I’m too damn protective. It seems that it is as typical of men my age to be sure of our opinions, as it is for young men to lack judgement in theirs. Come, we have to tell the king about this. Keeping this romance a secret would be worse than the anger that’s going to result from telling him about it.
