Laertes

My bags are packed. Farewell. And sister, whenever the winds allow the mail ships to sail, let me hear from you.

Ophelia

Do you doubt that?

Laertes

As for Hamlet and the attention he has been paying you, interpret this as casual flirtation from a young man coming into his sexual prime. It’s like the sweet smell of perfume, which provides a minute of pleasure, but nothing lasting.

Ophelia

You think it’s no more than that?

Laertes

Yes, I think it is no more than that. It's natural that as a man matures he not only grows physically, but he accepts more responsibilities. Perhaps Hamlet sincerely loves you now and is not leading you on, but you must recognize that despite his high social rank, his royal birth is a constraint.

He cannot just do whatever he wants, as ordinary people can. The welfare of the kingdom depends on his decisions, and he must take into account the needs and opinions of his people. He may truly love you, but you should put no more stock in that than he has the power to act on it. His choice of a wife will be determined by political factors, not love.

So you should consider the harm it will do to your reputation if you let yourself fall in love, give in to his youthful pleadings, and sleep with him. You should be afraid, and not get too close to him, where you run the risk of being damaged by his sexual desires. The most modest maiden would be seen as promiscuous if she got undressed in the moonlight. Even Virtue herself is not safe from false attacks on her reputation.

Fungus rot most often attacks young plants before their buds have blossomed (just as men ruin young girls before they have reached adulthood). And it is the dew of the early morning that results in harmful mold (just as it’s the passions of youth that cause harm to maidens). It’s best to be fearful of young men. Their sex drive overrules their better judgment, even when they are not being egged on by their friends.

Ophelia

I’ll keep your advice close to my heart. But, my dear brother, don’t act like those hypocritical preachers and show me the rocky way to heaven while you, like a conceited womanizer, take the primrose path to hell and ignore your own advice.

Laertes

Don’t worry about me.

I have to go now. Here comes our father. I’m fortunate to receive his farewell blessings a second time.

Polonius

Get on board! Shame on you!​ The wind is already filling the sails of your ship, and​ they’re waiting for you! I give you my blessings!

And remember these principles to guide your behavior. Don’t say out loud everything you think, and don't act on thoughts until you've examined them. Be friendly, but not too friendly. Hold on tight to those friends who you have tested, and who have proven worthy of your trust, but don’t wear out your palms shaking hands with every new acquaintance that comes along.

Don’t get into fights, but once you’re in one make sure your opponent fears you. Listen to everyone, but talk only to a trusted few. Hear everyone’s views, but form your own opinions. Spend as much as you can afford on clothes, but don't wear anything too ostentatious. Your clothes should be classy, not showy. Your appearance says a lot about you, and in France the upper classes are very careful about how they dress.

Don’t borrow or lend money. Loaning to a friend often ends up costing you both the friend and the money. And borrowing makes you careless with your spending. But above all, be true to yourself because, if you do, then it follows as certainly as night follows day that you will be true to others as well. Goodbye, and I hope, over time, these lessons will sink in.

Laertes

Please excuse me. I’ll be on my way, sir.

Polonius

The time is right. Go, your servants are waiting.

Laertes

Goodbye, Ophelia, and remember what I have said to you.

Ophelia

It’s locked away in my memory and only you have the key.

Laertes

Goodbye.

Polonius

What has he said to you, Ophelia?

Ophelia

Something about the Lord Hamlet.

Polonius

That was smart of him. I’ve been told that you and Prince Hamlet have been seeing a lot of each other lately. If that’s true, then I have to warn you that you don’t understand what it means to be a nobleman’s daughter, nor what’s required to protect your reputation. What’s going on between you two? Tell me the truth.

Ophelia

He has recently made many offers of his affection for me.

Polonius

Affection? Ha! You sound like an inexperienced young girl. Do you believe his “offers,” as you call them?

Ophelia

I don’t know what to think.

Polonius

Well, I’ll tell you what you should think. You’ve taken his “offers” as serious, which they are not. You should “offer” yourself at a higher price or (not to continue this pun too long) you’ll “offer” me up as a foolish father.

Ophelia

My Lord, he’s pleaded with me in an honorable fashion.

Polonius

“Fashion” you say. Yes, it’s a “fashion” for him all right, a mere pastime.

Ophelia

But he has supported his words of love with holy vows.

Polonius

His vows are just traps to catch naive birds like yourself. When a young man’s sexual appetite is aroused, he’ll swear to anything. But these are empty promises, which he’ll break before he’s even done saying them; don’t take them seriously. From now on, don’t spend so much time with him. Don’t go running to him every time he wants to talk to you. The only thing you can know for sure about a young noble like Hamlet is that everyone will cut him more slack than they will you.

In short, don’t believe his vows of love. They sound like holy commitments, but they’re just insincere promises with the goal of seducing you. This is my final word on the matter. Let me be clear: from this time forward, don’t risk your reputation by seeing Hamlet. Okay, let’s go.

Ophelia

I shall obey you, my lord.