Romeo and Juliet

Paris

Give me your torch, boy. Go stand away from me. No, put out the torch. I’d rather not been seen. Lie there under those yew trees with your ears close to the ground. That way you’ll hear if anyone comes into the churchyard or tries to dig up a grave. If you hear someone, signal me by whistling. Give me those flowers. Do as I asked you to. Go.

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I’m almost afraid to wait here in the churchyard, but I’ll try to be brave.

Romeo

Dreams often make things seem better than they are, but if I believe the dreams I’ve had, I’ll be getting good news shortly. I feel lighthearted, and I’ve been in an unusually good mood all day. I dreamed that I was dead— isn’t it strange how in dreams you can think when you’re dead? I dreamed I was dead, and then Juliet found me and kissed me, bringing me back to life. I became an emperor. Love is so wonderful that even dreams of love can bring so much joy.

[Enter Romeo’s servant, Balthasar]

Nurse

Mistress! Hello, mistress! I bet she’s fast asleep. Juliet! Hello my lamb! My lady! Darn it, you sleepyhead! Love! Madam! Sweetheart! Why don’t you answer, bride! Not even one word? Well get your rest now, sleep for a week. I bet you that the next night you won’t get much sleep with Count Paris. God forgive me, she’s sound asleep! I have to wake her up. Madam, madam, madam! Oh, let the count take you in your bed, I’m sure he’ll wake you up. Will you not wake up?

Lady Capulet

Hang on, take these keys and go get more spices, nurse.

Nurse

They’re telling me they need some dates and quinces for the pastry.

Capulet

Come on, up, everyone get going! The rooster’s crowed, the curfew bell has been rung, and it’s 3am. Go get the baked meats, good Angela. Don’t spare any cost.  

Nurse

Go on, you old micromanaging nag, go get some sleep. I swear you’ll feel sick tomorrow after staying up all night tonight.

Juliet

Yes, those clothes would be best. But my gentle nurse, please, leave me by myself tonight. I have many prayers to make in order to get heaven to smile on my coming marriage, for as you well know I’ve been contrary and sinful.

Lady Capulet

Hey, are you busy now? Do you need my help?

Juliet

No, Mother, we’ve collected the clothes I’ll need for the wedding tomorrow.

Capulet

Invite exactly as many guests as are written down here.

[Exit First Servant]

You, boy, go hire me twenty skilled cooks.

Second Servant

You won’t have any bad cooks, sir. I’ll test them to see if they can lick their fingers.

Capulet

How is that test supposed to work?

Friar Laurence

On Thursday, sir? That’s very very soon.

Paris

Lord Capulet, my future father-in-law, wants it to be that way, and I’m not anxious to slow him down.

Friar Laurence

You said that you don’t know what the lady thinks. This path to marriage seems unstable. I don’t like this.

Juliet

Are you going to leave? It’s not yet that close to daytime. That was the nightingale — not the morning lark — that just made that loud, piercing cry. The nightingale sings every night on that pomegranate tree over there. Believe me, love, it was the nightingale.

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